Day two of the Big 12 Football Media Days is in the books, and The Thirsty Beagle is in the books with part two of the Way-Out-of-Context Big 12 Quotes. Yesterday we had Nebraska, OSU, Texas A&M and Iowa State. Today’s installment features Missouri, Baylor, OU and Kansas. Here we go!
Missouri coach Gary Pinkel
-”First of all, sorry I’m late.”
Don’t players get kicked off teams for showing up late to too many meetings? Or at least have to run stadium steps? Way to set a good example, coach.
-”Well, first of all, I’m not really into young. I’m not into inexperienced.
Thanks coach, for the TMI. I think some things don’t need to be shared at football media days.
-”Because I think our kids really worked really, really hard.”
Do you really, really, really feel that way?
Baylor coach Art Briles
-”Thoughts on the upcoming season and what else? (Moderator: “Summer.”) Just whatever? Summer. OK.”
Don’t take this too seriously Art.
-”Personally, summer doesn’t hardly exist in the football world.”
Doesn’t that really mean it does exist?
-”Upcoming season, what we have to do is take the little bit of momentum that we felt like we finished up with last year.”
Hey, we’re Baylor. At this point, we’ll take a little bit of momentum. That’s a big step for us!
-”You’re conservatively dressed today for your standards. I’ll give you that. You usually throw a little silk at me.”
Give it up to Art Briles: Not afraid to call out someone for wearing shirts that peaked in popularity in 1992. Plus, maybe that can be a new catch phrase for when Baylor’s getting beat. “Art Briles is getting a little silk thrown at him.”
-”And then we have the chance to have a really solid defense, which you must have, you must have to win our division.”
Whoa there, Art! Win your division? I don’t think Baylor’s move to the MEAC is complete yet.
-”Jason, without argument, is the number one offensive lineman in North America.
Plain and simple, there’s no one better than Jason in Canada or Mexico.
-”Because your dreams, your hopes, your desires, your aspirations, your goals can be accomplished in Waco, Texas.
Look, anyone who’s been to Waco, Texas, knows that statement is just fantastic hyperbole. I’m pretty sure you can’t do any of that in Waco.
Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops
-”It’s been a great summer, I guess, for me personally.”
Bob Stoops: Not quite exactly sure how his summer went. I guess.
-”But we had a good spring, winter and spring leading up to the summer.”
I always thought Stoops had the refs on the take, but now I know why OU always wins so many games: Stoops has found a way to wrangle the space-time continuum to give his team two springs of practice before each season.
Kansas coach Mark Mangino
-”I said, he’s small. He’s really small. But I like him. And if we can get him, let’s get him. Let’s squeeze him a little bit.”
Kansas recruiting pitch: “You come to Lawrence, we’re gonna squeeze you a little bit. What? That sounds creepy? Forget we said that.”
-”As I said earlier today, the quarterback is the chauffeur. If you don’t have a chauffeur, the car doesn’t move.”
You live a sheltered life, Mark Mangino. Ever heard of hopping in and driving the car yourself?
-”For us to really get where we want this program to be, we have to start winning against teams that are considered the elite teams in the league and beat them, you know, from time to time.”
Way to aim high coach. So how often do you need to beat the elite teams? Once every four games? One out of eight? You know, just from time to time should do the trick.
-”Any of you guys know where the buffet line starts?”
OK, I made that one up. It’s a shameful dig, I know. But that’s a totally reasonable quote, right?
All right, I’ll be back tomorrow with part three. Mack Brown. Mike Leach. Dan Hawkins. “Go play intramurals, brother!” Need I say more?