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Mars and Venus: Sex dreams are upsetting boyfriend

Mars and Venus: Sex dreams are upsetting boyfriend
BY John Gray For The Oklahoman Modified: June 18, 2013 at 12:16 pm •  Published: June 18, 2013

Dear John: “Brad” and I have been together for a little over a year. We are very much in love, and we are expecting our first child in three months.

Our problem is that I have sexually explicit dreams, and evidently I talk and act out my sexual fantasies while asleep. I don't recall, however, having these dreams. This upsets Brad. He now has trust issues with me, although I've explained to him that I don't even think about having sex with other people while I'm awake, and I can't control what I do when I'm asleep.

I did the same thing when I was with my ex-boyfriend, but it did not concern him at all. I don't know what to do to make him understand how much I love him. — X-Rated Dreamer, in Waterbury, Conn.

Dear Dreamer: We all have fantasies, and we all have dreams, both men and women alike. Not all of us, however, recall our dreams easily.

What you are experiencing is your subconscious desires, which is something everyone is subject to, including Brad. He may insist that he never has sexually explicit dreams, but the truth is that the average male has five or more erections during each night's sleep.

Fidelity is the act of a conscious mind, while sleep returns us to our more basic instincts. Ask Brad to judge you on what you do while you're awake, not when you're asleep, and promise that you'll do the same for him.

Dear John: I work 35 hours each week in my dad's antique shop. My job entails selling, stocking, advertising, bookkeeping, decorating and other business decisions. Despite this, I get NO salary, although I have 15 years management experience in sales and advertising.

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