Beautiful world could get ugly

Secrets of success: work hard, get an education, develop talent and dress appropriately. And, oh yeah, I almost forgot, don't be ugly.

However, don't be discouraged if you're not attractive. You can still be successful. For instance, if you're also funny, like Marty Feldman or Woody Allen. Or if you're a genius who can invent a computer operating system that dominates the world or develop a theory of relativity that changes it. But generally, attractive experts say, the path to success is paved with tallness, fitness and full lips.

Good looks have become an investment as profitable as General Motors stock, you know, as soon as that hydrogen thing pans out. Despite the bearish market, people remain bullish on beauty. The business of many dermatologists is up. Even unemployed people are taking advantage of Botox treatments and other simple cosmetic procedures not involving injecting poison until their skin looks like ceramic tile. They figure it will help them get jobs.

The ugly truth is they're on to something. According to CNN, studies show attractive students get more attention and higher evaluations from teachers, good-looking patients get more personalized care from doctors, handsome criminals receive lighter sentences, and (don't tell Ross Perot) good-looking people earn up to 18 percent more.

Someday, scientists might be able to tweak our DNA so everyone is beautiful. Imagine a world in which every grocery checker and singer, every plumber and astronaut, every criminal and hero were beautiful. How could we tell real life from a TV drama?

As an unattractive physicist once noted, everything is relative. When hunkflation sets in and everyone looks fabulous, no one will look fabulous. We'll all be just normal. Attractiveness anarchy.

Then how would we decide who will hawk cars and clothes, act in movies or deliver the news?

How would we distinguish between regular people and celebrities?

Would we be forced to consider real measures of success, like intelligence, talent and hard work?

Nah.