A short-sleeved orange polo shirt hangs in my closet, not far from two long-sleeved red polos.
When I pull any of them off the hanger, I stop and think. Where I am going today? Who am I going to see? Am I going to be on camera?
Makes me feel like Posh Spice, but it goes with the job. People are watching. People take notice.
People like Bobby Petrino. The Arkansas football coach fielded a question from a Fayetteville radio personality wearing a Florida Gators cap, and now Renee Gork is out of a job.
Petrino answered Gork's question, then said, "And that will be the last question I answer with that hat on."
Radio station KAKS fired Gork on Monday, with general manager Dan Storrs saying, "This radio station is Hog Sports Radio. We are very biased. We support the Razorbacks 100 percent."
This is only the latest in a line of college football media/coach clashes. Mike Gundy's rant at our own Jenni Carlson. Urban Meyer's threat of the Orlando Sentinel's Jeremy Fowler. A dozen other quieter but no less contentious altercations.
In the Ozarks, you can pin the blame on everyone.
Arkansas officials say they didn't request Gork's dismissal but did say they asked that she not attend Monday's practice, which is incredibly presumptuous.
Hog Sports Radio showed itself to be nothing but FAO, for amusement only. The station has no backbone at all. Radio listeners of northwest Arkansas now know they can listen to a filtered KAKS that will step on no Razorback toes.
And of course, Gork herself, who deserved to be fired for stupidity. Florida-Arkansas isn't one of the nation's most-heated rivalries, but this is the Southeastern Conference, where they all hate each other and most everyone is crazy, starting with the football coaches.
Gork said she grabbed the Florida cap without thinking. Well, she's paid to think. You don't wear a Florida hat to an Arkansas news conference. You don't wear a Texas cap to a Bob Stoops news conference. You don't wear Sooner gear to a Gundy news conference.
To do so brands you as either brazen or stupid or both.
You see, college football fans keep track of this stuff. Coaches, too.
When Stoops met our newly-hired sports editor, Mike Sherman, in 2003, Stoops' only question was, "Where did you go to school?"
Stoops wasn't making conversation.
People draw lines; it's part of the culture, and even though some of us fight against it, we're swimming upstream.
In case you want to keep score at home, among The Oklahoman's 10 writers or editors whose responsibility include the Bedlam rivals, two went to OU, one to OSU and seven went elsewhere.
Sherman and OSU beat writers Brandon Chatmon and John Helsley are Central Oklahoma grads. OU beat writer Jake Trotter is a Washington & Lee man. OU beat writer Mike Baldwin is an Oklahoma Christian University alum. John Rohde graduated from Arizona, Carlson from Kansas.
Only assistant sports editors Hayley Riggs (OU), Ryan Sharp (OSU) and me (OU) have Bedlam ties. After eight years of working full-time in the newspaper business, I entered OU at the age of 26 and graduated 10 years later, in 1997. Don't accuse me of painting my face red or camping out for Texas tickets. That wasn't my college experience.
You can accuse me of being an OU fan. I want the Sooners to do well. I don't cheer, but I was hoping for an OU victory over Florida State and LSU, USC and Florida. I wanted Blake Griffin to take down North Carolina and Sonny Golloway's squad to win in Omaha.
But you better brand me an OSU fan at the same time. I'm pulling for the Cowboys, too. I spent more years as an OSU beat writer (six) than an OU beat writer (two). I want to see the Cowboys ride high. Eddie Sutton in the Final Fours. The Cotton Bowls against Ole Miss. Mike McGraw's golfers and John Smith's wrestlers in the NCAAs.
I'm an Oklahoman; I want our schools to thrive in every endeavor, and if you're one of those people who builds a barrier between the two schools, well, you baffle me.
Moving on, one problem with modern media is that once we were a bastion of neutrality. No longer. From radio reporters with a "Boomer Sooner" ring tone to television anchors on both schools' broadcast crew to Internet sites devoted only to the advancement of a favorite team, the lines have blurred.
In some ways, we've returned to the 19th century partisan press, where media — at that time, publications only — openly admitted to partisanship. That's what we now have in political coverage, with the likes of cable's Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly.
It's come to sports, too (KAKS), and you can't blame a football coach with a wary eye on who is covering his football team.
Stoops claimed little knowledge of what happened in the Ozarks but said if he's asked a question in a public forum, "I'm going to answer 'em whatever they're wearing." But if someone comes to his practice, as a courtesy, wearing a shirt or cap of an opponent, it's change or get out. "I'm not going to have somebody flash something in our face," Stoops said.
Gundy said he doesn't have time to worry about such things and Tuesday night claimed not to even know what people wore in his just-concluded press briefing. He might have been telling the truth. He scoured the room, still full of media chatting with players, to see what reporters were wearing.
Stoops chatted openly Tuesday about the blurred lines. Said he's no longer interested in hearing about journalistic integrity, when so many of us have gone into what he calls entertainment. Locally and nationally, he's got a point. Most everyone is double- or triple-dipping.
Newspaper writers on television or radio. Most everyone writing opinion for the Internet, to some degree.
Of course, a counter to Stoops' argument is that the opinion-based phenomenon started when coaches began limiting media interviews. More media outlets, combined with less access to the players, makes for combustion.
Gundy admitted he's "not really fired up about the Internet," but "the only problem I ever have is something not based on fact. Otherwise, if they write something not favorable about OSU football, they don't have to worry about walking by me in the hallway."
The gulf between media and the sportsmen we cover likely will grow. The least we can do is maintain some professionalism. Get things right. Be fair. Show up and take our medicine when we rip someone. And when it's raining, and the only hat in the house is a Gator cap, grab an umbrella.
Berry Tramel: Berry can be reached at (405) 760-8080 or at firstname.lastname@example.org. He can be heard Monday through Friday from 4:40-5:20 p.m. on The Sports Animal radio network, including AM-640 and FM-98.1. You can also view his personality page at newsok.com/berrytramel.