Oklahoma needs you. Needs you bad.
Big bad Bevo is loose again, terrorizing our not-so-Gotham state. The great Big 12 carousel finally has stopped, and Texas wins. Texas always wins.
Except on the football field. That's where you come in, Bobby. The Sooner masses, bloodied and bowed by yet another Longhorn stampede, need a little balm. A little salve. Need to be reminded of what's really important.
The crimson cladded need a victory in the Cotton Bowl in two weeks. By a resounding score, if possible.
That October Saturday is the only thing that saves the Sooners from the madness of being under DeLoss Dodds' thumb.
The Big 12 lives, and so does Texas' boardroom winning streak. Texas always wins in the boardroom.
In the Big 12's Lazarus Project sequel, announced on various campi Thursday night, the Longhorns get to keep their cushy conference, every remaining school has signed blood oaths to stay at least six years and no announced Texas concessions to the particular reforms most dear to Sooner hearts.
Commissioner Dan Beebe's head? Small potatoes. Equal revenue sharing, which apparently is coming? Actually will cost OU money, which makes school president David Boren humanitarian of the year but doesn't rein in Bevo. The six-year granting-of-rights, which virtually guarantees no more league jumping? Limits the options for the Sooners if the Longhorns get any more insufferable.
Time was, OU didn't care too much about that boardroom. It drove Nebraska daffy and eventually out of the league. The Sooners just strapped on the pads and won seven of the last 11 Big 12 football titles. That's not a bad way to take out your frustrations.
But Texas' Longhorn Network, with the backing and bullying of ESPN, has changed OU's attitude. BevoTV is buying conference games for its empty network and vowing to show high school highlights, which would skew the recruiting landscape.
All of a sudden, the boardroom mattered to OU. Which made the Thursday conference call of Big 12 presidents so interesting.
Sooner sources had said the school would stay in the Big 12 and not jump to the Pac-12, if Texas made concessions. But the Pac-12 spilled the beans that a Pac-14 just wouldn't work, and gone was OU's leverage.
So Boren's declaration of victory Thursday night was hollow to those tired of Texas. Which frankly includes not just 'Horn-hating fans but dignitaries up the food chain all the way to Stoops himself.
Boren said time didn't allow for presidents to address all the issues Thursday.
“We have stated we wanted other issues addressed,” Boren said. “Didn't have a long list. Four or five. They were either adopted or will be on the agenda.”
Missouri chancellor Brady Deaton will appoint a committee to work on those issues.
Who do you like in that cage fight? The Brady Bunch or DeLoss Dodds?
OU has lost its advantage. The Sooners are handcuffed – Boren's word, not mine – to the conference for at least six years. What's UT's incentive to start playing nice?
OSU president Burns Hargis said he believes Texas had a spirit of cooperation on the conference call.
“Texas is very committed to the conference,” Hargis said. “I feel like they were extremely cooperative and committed to developing stability.”
How about developing a heart?
This is not a slam on the revived Big 12. Clearly, a solid Big 12 is the best option for all nine schools involved, especially if OU's alternative was a Pac-14. That would have been a disaster for the Sooners or the Pac.
Pac-16 yes. Pac-14 no. A scheduling nightmare. OU and OSU would have played four conference games a year outside the Central Time Zone. Makes no sense.
Texas wouldn't go to the Pac, so OU had to stay, too. Boren's bid to make Bevo bow failed. Texas will make concessions on revenue sharing, because the 'Horns print money. And Texas doesn't care who's in the commissioner's office; this league doesn't empower its leader, no matter who he is.
But The Longhorn Network is a little more sacred to the Austintatious crowd. Dodds loves BevoTV the way Mack Brown loves Garrett Gilbert. Texas will back down on Longhorn Network issues only after a fight, and now OU has dropped its weapon.
To the batpole, Bobby Stoops.
Berry Tramel: Berry can be reached at (405) 760-8080 or at firstname.lastname@example.org. He can be heard Monday through Friday from 4:40-5:20 p.m. on The Sports Animal radio network, including AM-640 and FM-98.1. You can also view his personality page at newsok.com/berrytramel.