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Boyfriend doesn't want to be a father

John Gray advises readers about their relationships.
BY JOHN GRAY For The Oklahoman Modified: January 2, 2013 at 11:08 am •  Published: January 3, 2013

— What's Happening? In Tulsa

Dear What's Happening: The problem may be an unresolved issue yet to be addressed by either of you. If you can think of anything that has made you angry or resentful, you need to bring it up as soon as possible. Then again, he may be the one with the issue. The best way to find out is to wait until the two of you are alone and neither of you is upset. If in fact you are the one holding back, tell him why, without blame, anger or guilt. If you feel that he is still holding back, say: “Honey, I've noticed that we've been arguing more frequently. I love you so much, and I don't want anything to stand between us. Is there something you'd like to ask me, or is there something that I need to know?” This lets him know that you are open to hearing any issues. Usually we will hold something in because we fear the response of our partners. Until we can express our fear, we cannot move beyond it, so start talking. It can create the breakthrough that you're hoping to have.

2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.” If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.



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