Richard Mize, Real Estate Editor
Bricktown Canal ‘Redneck Venice’? Not even close
By Richard Mize
Comments 
10
Published: October 31, 2009
Did y’all hear what Robin Williams said about the Bricktown Canal the other night when he was carryin’ on out at the Ford Center?
He called it the Redneck
Venice! You know, that town in
France or wherever with all the creeks runnin’ through it.
It was on OKC Central, my good buddy Steve Lackmeyer’s blog contraption, and he got it off that
Twitter, so ya know it must be true.
Awful nice of ya, Mork, but, I’ll swan,
Bricktown has got itself a long ways to go before it can live up to that.
You might not reckon so for a place with a Hooters, a Coyote Ugly,
Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill, the Wormy Dog Saloon, Cadillac Jack’s Rockin’ Country Bar, Pearl’s Crabtown (home of the
Bubba Bucket), plus the
American Banjo Museum and
Bass Pro Shops — all within shoutin’ distance of a six-story buildin’ with a dadgum full-size
U-Haul truck rotatin’ on the roof, and all of that across the highway from a place as big as Bricktown itself that’s been a cotton oil press since territory days.
But there is!
Here, y’all, are some redneck development ideas for Bricktown — at a perfect time, Halloween, for givin’ my hoity-toity Okie friends nightmares!
First rattle out of the chute, get Nonna’s Ristorante & Bar to spell "restaurant” right and add redneck vinaigrette — bacon grease from the can on the stove and vinegar from a glass bottle picked up at the Walmarts Trailer To-Go set up Saturday afternoons along
Vince Gill Avenue — to the menu.
Oh, yeah. Get the Walmarts to set up a Trailer To-Go Saturdays along Vince Gill Avenue.
Change it to the Peanuts in My Coca-Cola Bricktown Events Center.
Tractor pulls on Sheridan Avenue.
Redneck food cart vendors: Pork rinds, deep fried on the spot. Freshly nuked Moon Pies a la mode.
Where those Quonset-roofed buildings are now, the ones
Bob Meinders is fixin’ to tear down? One word: muddin’.
Friday nights, sell spray paint and climbin’ rights on the Bricktown water tower to lovelorn graffiti artistes to express their heartache. Saturday nights, sell ’em to other graffiti artistes so they can climb up and defend their sisters’ honor.
Washer tossin’ and horseshoe pitchin’ along
Flaming Lips Alley.
Put in the
Oklahoma Heritage Cockfighting History Museum and Chicken-in-a-Biscuit Cafe.
Get Maker’s Cigar & Piano Lounge to put some brass spittoons along the bar, and not for looks.
Stock the canal with catfish. Run trotlines.
Last word: Noodling!
Leave a Comment
Business Photo Galleriesview all
Prev
Something to say about this topic? Submit a Letter to the Editor online
Thank you for joining our conversations on newsok. We encourage your discussions but ask that you stay within the bounds of our terms and conditions. Please help us by reporting comments that violate these guidelines. To review our rules of engagement, go to Commenting and posting policy.
Log in below or sign up (it's free).
Honestly, it is about time someone gave the Canal a name...surprised they never got around to selling the naming rights. Does anyone know if anyone is selling "Redneck Venice" stuff yet?