DEAR JOHN: My brother ruins all of my relationships. We are both in our 20s, and he is five years older. He thinks I make the wrong choices in the guys I date. I think that it's none of his business. What do you think?
— Big Brother Blues in Decatur, Ill.
DEAR BLUES: I think you're right. Only you can learn from your mistakes — and you can't do this if you're never allowed to make any.
He should have some faith in the common ground that you share. If he can't, then that's his problem, not yours. Thank him for being concerned, and then ask him to step aside. You're a big girl now.
DEAR JOHN: My fiance and I have lived together for three years. We have a solid relationship, and we intend to get married next year. One issue we cannot resolve, however, is how he should deal with an ex-girlfriend who keeps trying to re-enter his life. She writes him sexually suggestive letters! He thinks the best method of dealing with the situation is to ignore the mail. I feel he should write her that he is in a committed relationship.
— She-Devil Woes, in Edmond