From the moment you arrive every day, you're on edge.
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You try to stay away from him — in fact, you do your best to avoid even eye contact — because you know what will happen. The mocking. The berating. The belittling.
But you're not on the playground at elementary school, trying to duck that kid who always tears you down. You're in your cubicle at work, hoping you can stay away from the boss or co-worker who makes your work-life miserable.
Bullying isn't only a problem for children at school. According to a new survey from VitalSmarts, it's wreaking havoc in our offices, too.
The survey of 2,283 people in May 2014 showed that 96 percent of respondents said they had experienced workplace bullying. Furthermore, the respondents said that 89 percent of those bullies had been at it for more than a year, and 54 percent had bullied their co-workers for more than five years.
I was shocked by how high those numbers were, and so was David Maxfield, vice president of research at VitalSmarts and co-author of "Influencer," "Crucial Accountability" and "Change Anything."
In an email interview, Maxfield said people often assume bullying is something that ends with our school years, but that clearly isn't the case.
"Among children, research shows that boys and girls experience and participate in different forms of bullying," Maxfield wrote in his response to my questions about the survey. "Boys experience physical bullying, while girls experience emotional bullying. We find that physical bullying decreases with age — as you become an adult. But that emotional bullying is alive and well in most organizations."
What is "emotional bullying"? According to the survey, 79 percent of respondents identified behavior that was overly controlling or autocratic; 74 percent pointed to sarcastic, cutting or demeaning comments; 68 percent talked about the silent treatment or cold shoulder; and 64 percent mentioned gossip, rumors and misinformation.
As part of the survey, VitalSmarts also collected 731 stories of bullying, and Maxfield shared some of those with me.
One person talked about being bullied by a manager. "She would belittle people in front of their peers," this person wrote. "Nothing and no one met her expectations. Even when she was provided with exactly what she requested, she would find fault in the product or delivery in some way."
Another respondent wrote about sabotage at the hands of a longtime secretary to one of the firm's attorneys. This bully badmouthed the respondent to the other administrative staff. "She even refused to spell me when I needed a break from the front desk to use the bathroom. When I reported her behavior, I was told that she had been with this attorney for a number of years, and he was satisfied with her work and had no inclination to fire her or even discipline her."
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