I'm pretty sure my dogs will do the same things before and after the rapture.
One will be napping and the other will be trying to sneak off to chew one of my shoes.
I'm not sure how the rapture would go down, but I imagine rivers of lava dotted with drifting boulders. My old dog would be asleep on his dog bed on one of those boulders. The young dog would leapfrog away with one of my flip-flops in her mouth.
I guess that's what they'll be doing Saturday morning.
The world's ending Friday, you know. True story.
California radio evangelist Harold Camping says the world will end Oct. 21, 2011.
Camping is a well-known doomsday predictor.
Because he's made so many doomsday predictions.
He most recently said Judgment Day was coming May 21, 2011, but he was wrong on that. He forgot to carry the one or find the square root of crazy or something like that. There were also a couple of other times he said the world would end, but this time, Judgment Day is for real. Probably.
So, if the world ends, what will happen to our pets?
I need a practical solution for the rapture. The best plan I had was to leave a big pile of food like you would for the hamster in your kid's third-grade classroom during Fall Break.
Enter Eternal Earth-Bound Pets.
For $135, a sworn atheist will come to your house, pick up your dogs and look after them if you just happen to be sucked up into heaven, said co-founder Bart Centre, who lives in New Hampshire. The pet service is offered in about half of the states, including lucky Oklahoma. Maybe there aren't any atheists in Delaware.
Oklahoma is home to three rescuers and 21 clients.
The contract with Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is good for 10 years. Honestly, my older dog probably won't live that long, so I think I'd negotiate a deal. How about five years for $67.50? Or seven years for $94.50? Or, because I'll apparently only need this insurance temporarily, what about $1 for the rest of the week?
Business for Centre and his colleagues usually spikes in the months leading up to the predicted apocalypse. This time hasn't been as busy, he said. Camping predicts the world will be destroyed immediately after the rapture. Oklahoma is one of the hottest states right now, he said.
As an atheist, Centre doesn't believe in Judgment Day or anything like it. So he doesn't expect he'll have to make good on his contracts Saturday. He and his wife plan to have a regular day, along with their two dogs.
“They're atheist,” he said. “None of us are going anywhere.”