I had disappointed an animal that coughs up its own hair. Spending time with other people's cats is an exercise in humility.
Cats live in about one in three U.S. households, according to the Humane Society of the United States.
I conservatively estimate about half of all cats hate me, therefore 1 in 6 households have cats that would rather claw my eyes out than curl up in my lap.
That means I'm not welcome in about 19 million homes nationwide, according to U.S. Census figure.
(I hope my elementary school math teachers appreciate that I used the skills they taught me to calculate the number of places I cannot go because of angry cats. Your dedication to teaching has paid off.)
But I expect at least some of those 19 million households will ask me to cat-sit while they're out of town. I'll happily agree, but I'm positive the cats will disapprove.
MORE FROM NEWSOK
Go to blog.newsok.com/red-dirt-ruckus to read an interview about coaxing cats into liking you with Catherine English, superintendent for Animal Welfare for Oklahoma City.