Choosing a soul mate vs. teammate

In "Marry Him!” Lori Gottlieb gives many reasons why women should consider marrying someone that falls short of the title "soul mate.” Here are some of the reasons she lists.

Lori Gottlieb

"Marriage isn't a passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane and often boring nonprofit business.”

"Marriage ultimately isn't about cosmic connection — it's about how having a teammate, even if he's not the love of your life, is better than not having one at all.”

Many of her married friends' biggest complaints are that they don't spend much time with their husbands. "So, if you rarely see your husband — but he's a decent guy who takes out the trash and sets up the baby gear, and he provides a second income that allows you to spend time with your child instead of working 60 hours a week to support a family on your own, how much does it matter whether the guy you marry is The One?”

Some of her single friends admit that they'd happily settle now, but wouldn't have 10 years ago. They grew up idealizing marriage.

"If we'd had a more realistic understanding of its cold, hard benefits we might have done things differently,” Gottlieb said.

"I realize that if I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, I'm at the age where I'll likely need to settle for someone who is settling for me.”