Share “Communication troubles loom”

Communication troubles loom

John Gray answers readers' questions about their relationships.
BY John Gray For The Oklahoman Modified: December 20, 2012 at 2:16 pm •  Published: December 27, 2012

— House Guest Cautions, in Roswell, Ga.

Dear Cautious: Early twenty-something relationships have a high failure rate. Still, given that you two have put four years into your relationship, I think it's more than reasonable for you and Don to have certain expectations at this stage of your relationship, and so do you. Now is the time to clarify what these are. What are Don's future plans? What are yours? Are you roommates, lovers or both?

If he agrees with you that this moving in may mean marriage in the future, then the “I pay the bills” line is an unfair card for him to play because he knows the limitations of your current situation. If the plan is for you to pay for part of the expenses later on when you have finished school, come to an understanding about that now. Clear expectations lead to fewer misunderstandings later on. Good things are possible when you both play by the same rules.

2012 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.” If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.