Dating Game: A 40s view of the Oklahoma City dating scene

It's acceptable for both men and women in their 40s to choose dates who are younger or older. They've established their likes and dislikes, they are comfortable in their own skin and have a good idea of what they want in a partner.The downside is, they can't find each other.
BY SANDI DAVIS, For The Oklahoman Modified: December 16, 2013 at 1:00 pm •  Published: December 16, 2013
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Poised on the cusp of Baby Boomers and Generation X, single men and women in their 40s are in a unique situation when it comes to dating.

With some real-life experiences to use, it might seem they would have the world by its tail. It's acceptable for both men and women to choose dates who are younger or older. They've established their likes and dislikes, they are comfortable in their own skin and have a good idea of what they want in a partner.

The downside is, they can't find each other.

Researching for this story, several women would talk about their dating lives, but didn't want to be identified.

Several others sent emails saying they have quit dating entirely. A few of those women are now in their 50s and gave up on dating a decade before.

Why? Juggling jobs, children and their schedules — including exes — can take up a lot of free time that younger people use for a social life.

Trying to re-establish a social life and either hone 21st century dating skills or discover them for the first time can be tough.

That's what Frank Mendoza discovered.

The 46-year-old lives in Oklahoma City and works for a national grocery chain. He's been single for seven years and is looking for his soul mate, someone to share his passions of cooking and home improvement projects.

“Dating is harder as you get older,” he said. “Your preferences are set, you're comfortable with yourself and it's hard to find someone who is comfortable with you.”



In the book, “40 And Still Fabulous: How to Look and Feel Great During The Best Years of Your Life” by Joanna Hall, she compares dating in your 20s and dating in your 40s to first shooting fish in a barrel, and now looking for a specialty item. Since you've narrowed the parameters of what you want, you must take the time to find it.

• She suggests listing three nonnegotiable things about the person you're looking for and starting there.

• After that, think of what you love doing, and go do those things. You'll stand a better chance of finding that special partner and will be doing something you love at the same time.

• Finally, don't let a ticking biological clock or some sort of life schedule dictate who you see. Take your time. There's no rush when you're searching for that special person to share your life.

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