Dear Abby: Don't live with boyfriend if you don't think it's right

Published: January 24, 2013
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He never offered to pay for gas or compensate me in any way, and seemed unable to find other arrangements when I had to work late or run errands after work, which made me feel trapped in his schedule. I finally got tired of the hassle and made an excuse to stop driving him.

There is no real reason I can't take him now except that he was such a pain in the you-know-what that I don't want to. But I feel guilty when I see his wife loading up all their kids to make the drive.

What's the right thing to do? We may be neighbors for a very long time.

Kind Commuter, Madison, Wis.

DEAR KIND COMMUTER: I recognize your generosity in extending yourself to your co-worker, who apparently never learned the basics of carpool etiquette. Because you got nothing positive out of driving him, I do not recommend you start again. However, if you would like to do his wife a favor, see if there are transportation services for people with disabilities in your city, and if there are, give that information to her.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. To order “Abby's Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby,” send your name and mailing address plus check or money order for $14 to Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included.)

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