This has gone on for years. He swears he's no longer cheating, and we have sought counseling — which I stopped because the counselor and I agreed that my husband didn't think he had a problem.
When I confront him with my suspicions, he insists that I am “driving him away” by accusing him. He is very arrogant, and people who don't know him believe he's a great guy and I am the problem. I have considered revenge cheating, but it goes against my morals. I think about divorcing him, but then I think — what if I am wrong? What if he really is being faithful? What should I do? I love him.
Unsure in Texas
DEAR UNSURE: I agree that “revenge” cheating is not the solution to your problem. Hire a private detective and get to the bottom of this. If you're wrong, you need counseling to resolve your insecurities. However, if he's cheating, you will know you haven't been imagining things and can decide rationally if it's in your best interests to continue being married to a womanizer.
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. To order “How to Write Letters for All Occasions,” send your name and mailing address plus check or money order for $7 to Dear Abby — Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included.)