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Dear Abby: Grouchy grandma talks way out of family events

Dear Abby
Oklahoman Modified: January 16, 2013 at 6:50 pm •  Published: January 17, 2013
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DEAR ABBY: Please allow me to share a dating technique with your readers that has saved me a lot of relationship headaches. I call it “the 90-day rule.”

Whenever I start dating someone, I try to see them at least once a week for 90 days. That way, if there are any character flaws, I find out within the first 90 days.

Among the flaws I've discovered: drug dealing and addiction, alcoholism, driving without a valid license and with illegal license tags, and lying about their occupation.

The idea is to avoid sexual intimacy during those first 90 days to keep your head clear. If you are intimate too soon, you'll find yourself making excuses for your partner. This technique has never failed me — unless I made an exception.

May I suggest your readers try this 90-day rule? If they do, I promise they won't be disappointed because it takes TIME to get to know someone. Before you can love someone, you must learn who that person really is.

Clearheaded, Clearwater, Fla.

DEAR CLEARHEADED: Your 90-day rule makes a lot of sense. I have heard from many readers who went too far too fast because they felt they had made an instant emotional connection. I warn them that physical attraction should not be confused with love because what they're really describing is infatuation.

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. To order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding,” send your name and mailing address plus check or money order for $7 to Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included.)

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