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Dear Abby: Readers urge wife to work through problems at home

Oklahoman Published: January 10, 2013

Loving feelings come from loving behavior, not the other way around. The sooner she realizes this, the sooner she'll see that what she really wants is right there at home with her family. And it has been there all along.

Dr. Peggy B.

DEAR ABBY: I have this message for “Had It”: I felt like you and acted on my feelings. Don't do it! Wait until your kids are older. As much as you want a more intimate relationship, you cannot begin to imagine the impact straying will have on your kids.

I deeply regret what I did and I wish someone would have told me what I'm telling you. Pull yourself together. Think about your children, extended family and friends. You are connected to others through your husband, and once you pull your marriage apart, everything else falls away, too.

Regretting It in New York

DEAR ABBY: “Had It” is probably suffering from a case of the seven-year itch. For some reason, people cycle in seven-year increments. Some of them change jobs or homes, others have affairs or change spouses. She should work through it with a counselor.

There is a lot to be said for being married to your best friend. A wise therapist advised me to compliment my husband at least once a day. (“If you act happy, pretty soon it won't be an act.”) This was after my first bout with the “itch” and it has been working ever since, 29 years!

Loving and Laughing with My Best Friend

Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. To order “Abby's Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby,” send your name and mailing address plus check or money order for $14 to Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included.)