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Do we need counseling?

All couples fight. But that doesn't always mean you need to see a counselor. These tips will help you know whether you need to see a counselor or whether you're doing fine on your own.
Aaron Anderson, FamilyShare Modified: May 12, 2014 at 7:00 am •  Published: May 22, 2014

I heard the other day that men and women have only a 5 percent difference in their genetic makeup. However, men and monkeys only have a 2 percent difference. This would mean that men have more in common with monkeys than with women.

I don't know whether that's true or not but one thing all my books and all my experience has taught me as a marriage counselor is that men and women really are fundamentally different. And not just anatomically, either. Because of these differences, men and women are just naturally going to have conflicts.

For example, my experience has shown me that men are much more action-oriented while women are more emotion-oriented. What I mean by this is that whenever there's a problem, men are much more likely to want to create a plan about how to solve it while women are much more likely to want to talk about it, discuss how it made them feel and look for an emotional connection during it. This in itself has caused more couples to come into my office than I can count.

Because of this single unique difference, women will usually complain that they don't feel like their spouse listens to them. Men will usually complain that their wife just wants to complain and doesn't ever do anything to get over it. Because men and women are different there are always conflicts that come up. Some of these conflicts are big and some of these are small. But how do you know if the conflicts you're having with your spouse are "normal" or if they are really causing problems in your relationship?

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