(There is an exception: You are always allowed to boo the Heat. And Dwight Howard.)
7. Don’t copy: What you notice as a traveling sports writer is that if one team has any success with a marketing or promotional venture, it will be copied by every other team in professional sports.
The same music gets played at the same time in the same venues. During seasons in which they finished in last place, the Wolves would conduct the same, mindless, over-the-top introductions to the same soundtrack as the world champs.
Come up with something unique to your team and your city, or don’t bother.
8. Don’t complain about bias: Whether they are competent or not, the refs and announcers don’t care whether your team wins or loses. They really don’t.
They work a million games, and if they have an opinion on covering your team it is probably based on the quality of the media relations staff, the airport, the hotel and the local restaurant scene. If they hate your team, it’s because your coach is a jerk.
9. Pick new music: Instead of playing the same music in Oklahoma City (or Minneapolis) that they play in Miami and New York, try adding a local touch.
If the Wolves ever make the playoffs again, they should play musicians of local origin, such as Prince, the Jayhawks, or a dozen bands someone hipper than me could conjure up.
And they could replace the predictable soundtrack with a pep band.
There’s nothing quite like going to a good college basketball game and hearing a pep band. Why can’t that work in the pros? It would be better than another rendition of “Rock and Roll (Part 2).”
Minnesota can do better than Oklahoma City. But we probably won’t.