Finding hope in a tragic situation

By Charlotte Lankard Comments 0
Published: October 29, 2009

"You just told my story.”

These words are in response to the movie "Precious” — words that have come from someone in the audience every time the film has been previewed, said actress Paula Patton, who plays the teacher in the movie.

My friends Gene, Sharon and Ron and I saw a preview at the Aspen Film Festival a few weeks ago, where Patton was available for questions and answers after the showing.

"Precious” will open in theaters in November. It is the story of a high school girl who is pregnant with her father’s child — for the second time. She cannot read or write and is teased by classmates for being fat. Her home life is a horror. As often happens, there is a teacher who makes a difference.

This is not a movie that wallows in depression. Rather, one film critic says, "It vibrates with the kind of energy derived only from anger and hope.”

I dare say many people will leave theaters saying, "They just told my story.”

Incest does not discriminate. It happens in families that are financially privileged as well as those of low socioeconomic status. It happens to those of all racial and ethnic descents and to those of all religious traditions.

Victims are boys and girls, infants and adolescents. It occurs between fathers and daughters, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters and mothers and sons.

Perpetrators can be aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, step-parents, stepchildren, grandparents and grandchildren.

Incest has been cited as the most common form of child abuse.

It can have long-term effects on victims, such as eating disorders, sexual problems as adults and post-traumatic stress disorder — which includes amnesia, nightmares and flashbacks.

Victims typically suffer from intense guilt, shame, low self-esteem, depression and self-destructive behavior such as substance abuse, sexual promiscuity and prostitution.

The process of recovery can be painful, but resources are available, including books, self-help groups, workshops, short- and long-term therapy programs and possible legal remedies.

Our job is to listen, believe and help the victims.

Charlotte Lankard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is in private practice with Baptist Counseling Associates. Her Web site is www.charlottelankard.com.