Let's play Sports Jeopardy.
Answer: Johnny Damon, Adam Vinatieri, Ray Allen .Â .Â . Jacoby Ellsbury.
Question: Name four Boston athletes who performed admirably in championship seasons, then were booed by Hub fans because they returned to Boston wearing the wrong laundry.
Ellsbury's handsome head was added to the Rushmore of Fan Stupidity Tuesday night when the majority of Red Sox fans in attendance gave him the old Bronx cheer when he came to bat against former teammate Jon Lester leading off the first inning at Fenway.
Naturally, Ellsbury crushed an 0-and-2 pitch and drove it to straightaway center field. The ball would have banged off the top of the wall if not for a nitwit in a Bruins jersey who lunged across the fencetop and had the ball clang off his hands.
Ellsbury circled the bases for a Little League-esque inside-the-park home run, but was awarded a triple due to fan interference.
He immediately scored on a Derek Jeter single up the middle, then robbed Sox leadoff hitter Grady Sizemore with a shoetop catch in the bottom of the inning.
In the fifth he KO'd Lester with a two-run single on a 3-2 pitch.
And in the distance, I could swear I heard Bob Lobel ask, "Why can't we get players like that?"
The Red Sox and their fans found some peace before the top of the second when Ellsbury was cheered following a video that tastefully thanked Ellsbury and highlighted his Sox deeds to the tune of Springsteen's "Born to Run" (Dr. Charles strikes again).
Perched on the top step of the Yankee dugout, Ellsbury turned and waved to Sox fans.
When Ellsbury returned to the batter's box seconds later, the boos came back. He then flied to left.
The good news is there'll be no hard feelings coming from Ellsbury. Nothing public, that's for sure.
You think Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak is impressive? That's nothing. The Yankees' new center fielder has gone seven-plus years without saying anything remotely controversial or amusing.
Joltin' Jacoby kept his streak alive Tuesday with another extremely polite and pleasant press conference before playing his first game back at Fenway.
''All my memories are positive," Ellsbury said during an 11-minute pregame media session before a packed room of folks futilely seeking splash and sizzle.
Most Sox stars (Roger, Wade, Mo, Nomar, Pedro) set the Tobin Bridge on fire when they bolt Boston. Not Ellsbury. He never promised to finish his career here and now that it's over, he can't say enough nice things about his time at Fenway.
He's never going to tell us if he harbors any bad feelings about his medical treatment from the Sox staff or the team's indifference when he became a free agent last winter. It's kind of admirable.
He told us that he's enjoyed his time back in Boston, seeing folks he used to see every day, and getting a look at the visitor's clubhouse at Fenway.