Free nuptials catching on

By Carla Hinton

Published: August 18, 2007

Most people have probably heard of a couple signing a prenuptial agreement.

How about a pair headed for the marriage altar signing a "free-nuptial agreement”?

That's what some couples have done to participate in the free wedding program at Harmony Christian Church in Choctaw. The church at 7100 S Choctaw Road is a recent addition to the list of Oklahoma churches offering free weddings for couples agreeing to a series of premarital counseling sessions. Some churches began offering the free weddings — combined with an Oklahoma Marriage Initiative premarital curriculum and the Gospel — just over a year ago.

"I kept hearing people say, ‘We wanted to get married, but we just can't afford to,'” said the Rev. Kevin Pigg, senior pastor at Harmony Christian.

"We were looking at what we could do to serve our community, and one of the huge needs is strengthening marriages and families. This is one way to do that.”

Couples who sign the church's free-nuptial agreement agree to attend four premarital coaching sessions in a small group setting on select Wednesday nights, plus a marriage enhancement seminar at the church. In return, Pigg said, couples receive $5 in cash and a letter entitling them to obtain a marriage license for $5. In Oklahoma, couples who show proof of premarital counseling can obtain a marriage license for $5, a considerable savings since the required license generally costs $50.

Pigg said couples get the use of the church for three hours on a designated day (the fall dates of Sept. 29 and Oct. 29 are full, but couples can put their names on a waiting list), a wedding coordinator, music and some of the decorative trimmings such as pew bows, silk flowers, candelabras and other wedding finery.

Pigg, who performs most of the free weddings himself, said the free-nuptial package is worth an estimated $700.

He and the Rev. Emmitt Greene said the obvious benefit to couples is a church wedding at no cost. However, this benefit is outweighed by other, more important things, the pastors said.

"Marriage is a foundational support for a society,” said Greene, assistant pastor of Unity Christian Center, 12601 N Western.

"God's best for a family is a husband and wife who are committed to a long-term relationship. I feel like the free weddings are creating a more stable environment for those couples, to their children, if they have them, and to society.

"It creates a world that is a better place to live.”

Unity began offering the free weddings in June 2006. Greene said the church receives seven to 10 calls every week from someone inquiring about the program.

He said couples agree to attend six premarital small group sessions at the northwest Oklahoma City church, and the ministry agrees to pay the $5 for the discounted marriage license. Couples can hold their wedding in the church along with a modest reception. Greene said he performs most of the ceremonies for participating couples.

He and Pigg said the premarital curriculum includes the marriage initiative's PREP model (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) for engaged, dating and married couples. They said both churches also offer money management strategies since financial woes are the leading cause of divorce, according to many statistics.

Greene said he learned during his church's door-to-door witnessing or evangelizing that many cohabitating couples wanted to get married but felt they couldn't afford a wedding. Some of the people who have participated in the program in the past year have heard about it through friends and relatives who knew of the couple's desire for a wedding.

"I think there is a great need, and this is filling a void,” Greene said.

He said the program has helped support the institution of marriage.

"Because marriage and the commitment to marriage has suffered so many blows, people are doing what is right in their own eyes. We're giving couples skills for a successful marriage and a successful family. That's a grassroots impact on our society, and we really feel like we're doing the work of the Lord.”

Pigg said his church has 30 couples signed up for a free marriage enhancement seminar set for Friday and Aug. 25. The seminar is being touted as the "All About Us Tail Gate Party” because tailgate party foods will be offered to participants on Friday evening. Pigg said "All About Us” is the name of the marriage initiative's PREP seminar materials that will be part of the weekend effort.

He said the seminar is a first step for those who want to participate in the church's free-nuptial program, and it is also designed as a stand-alone marriage enrichment activity.

"It's a good solid education. It sets ground rules for couples,” he said.

Jack Myrick, director of faith-based programs at the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative, said he is pleased that churches continue to offer the free weddings.

"This particular strategy is great for several reasons,” he said.

"The first thing is getting married is taxing financially, so this is a great service to the couple. The second thing is one of the big needs of couples today is other positive couples. That sense of community is huge,” he said, referring to the small-group formats at Harmony and Unity.

"It's kind of the new thing on the research field, understanding how that sense of community positively impacts couples, but it's something that the church has known for 2,000 years.”

Meanwhile, Greene and Pigg said they would like to see more churches offer the free premarital counseling sessions and weddings.

"It hurts me to tell them that there are none that we know of,” Greene said.

"Once additional facilities are available, I think more people will do this. There's not a patent — any church can do this.”

"Because marriage and the commitment to marriage has suffered so many blows, people are doing what is right in their own eyes. We're giving couples skills for a successful marriage and a successful family. That's a grassroots impact on our society, and we really feel like we're doing the work of the Lord.”

The Rev. Emmitt Greene, Unity Christian Center

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