"I don't care if everyone at the table orders a drink but me. That's fine," said Perry, 46, a singer in Atlanta. "What I do resent is being pressured, and then being asked is it a 'religious thing' or if I have a 'problem.'"
Sometimes, she relies on: "Oh, thank you, but I'm still on methadone." While not true, a quick apology usually ensues and the pesky prober moves along.
Whether in recovery or not interested for other reasons, the holidays often mean an excess of booze and drugs. Occasional drinkers fail to moderate and addiction programs around the country note upticks in patient loads soon after the new year, high season for relapsers and those seeking treatment for the first time.
"Alcohol is often center stage at holiday parties," said Amara Durham, a spokeswoman for Caron Texas, a treatment facility in Princeton, Texas. "Many people think they need alcohol to enjoy social occasions such as holiday celebrations."
Chapman Sledge, chief medical officer at Cumberland Heights, a center in the Nashville, Tenn., area, said loved ones hosting holiday dinners and parties should be sensitive to the difficulties of recovering guests.
"Stray comments like, 'Just a sip of wine at dinner won't hurt,' or 'It's a party, have a little fun,' even if they're unintentional, can slow or destroy an addict's recovery," he said.
Gina Bestenlehner, who is 12 years sober and program director for the Pur Detox center in Dana Point, Calif., suggests bringing along a sobriety buddy to help stay focused. She also recommends volunteering as a designated driver, which "gives a person new purpose and a reason to be there sober. It also saves lives."
Like other support groups around the country, the North Central Vermont Recovery Center in Morrisville hosts a sober New Year's Eve.
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