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How the "other woman" became a friend

A divorced woman chose to befriend her ex-husband's new wife for the sake of the children and ended up finding a real friend.
Kate Rose Lee, KSL Modified: June 9, 2014 at 4:43 pm •  Published: June 11, 2014
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A few weeks ago I had the privilege of speaking at an event celebrating women. It was there that I met Sara. Her story of forgiveness and love is so rare that I felt it had to be shared. She was gracious enough to allow me the honor.

A few short weeks after giving birth to their third child, Sara’s husband Ben dropped a bombshell. After seven years of marriage, he was leaving her.

Just two weeks after leaving, Ben called Sara. He wanted the children to meet his soon to be new wife, Lindsey. Somehow Sara managed to agree.

Later that week, after meeting Lindsey and in spite of her grief, all Sara could think was “if she had not been ‘the other woman,’ if she had been someone I had met on the street, I would have loved her.”

In the beginning Sara felt she had to compete. Lindsey was not only beautiful and smart, she was talented. Sara’s friends and family would tell her to stand her ground, to make sure Lindsey always knew who was boss where the children were concerned.

But one night after her children were asleep Sara sat rocking her baby. She looked down at his face. He was so innocent, yet he had been born into a situation full of turmoil. As a pre-school teacher Sara had taught many children from divorce. She thought of the many things she had witnessed these tiny little ones say and do.

“My mom hates my other mom.”

“I need two report cards because my parents don’t talk to each other.”

And perhaps the most heartbreaking was a four-year-old girl who was making a Mother’s Day card. This little girl looked almost fearful as she quickly rushed to Sara. “Please don’t tell my Mommy that I made one for my stepmom too.”

Sara understood that most of these children loved both parents. It was the parents that did not get along.

As Sara continued to rock her baby she realized she never wanted him to feel like those children did. She wanted her children to see love, not hatred. There was already too much of that in this world. Sara, similar to many moms, had always said that she would do anything for her children. Suddenly she realized that she could. Sara painfully decided that she would forgive and try to love Lindsey for their sakes.

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