Hubby talks of ‘sex buddy’

Published: November 26, 2008

DEAR ABBY: I need some serious advice. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a year ago. My condition is stable. I have taken the necessary precautions such as dietary changes, exercise and prescription medicines.

My husband and I have been married eight years. This is my second marriage and his third. My husband is a stubborn man. Once he makes a decision, he stands by it until death.

He recently announced that should I become incapacitated and be unable to perform my "wifely duties,” he is going to find a "sex buddy.” What should I do about this announcement?

Wife, Dayton, Ohio

DEAR WIFE: I can’t imagine an announcement that would cool a woman’s ardor faster than the one your husband made to you. You say that "once he makes a decision, he stands by it until death.” Remind him that when you were married, he promised to be faithful to you until death do you part.

From my perspective, your husband appears to be a self-serving hypocrite, and you need to decide if that’s the kind of person with whom you want to live for the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Logan,” recently proposed. I gladly accepted. Logan is little timid about announcing that we are engaged. He’s afraid of what people will think because we have only been together seven months.

What is the appropriate time frame for courting before becoming engaged?

New Fiancee,

Seligman, Ariz.

DEAR NEW FIANCEE: It depends upon the ages and the level of life experience of the people involved. Smart couples wait to become engaged until they have seen each other under a variety of circumstances, including some that are not pleasant. And after they do decide, they sign up for premarital counseling to make absolutely sure they agree on subjects such as money management, how many children they want, and how the children will be raised — the "little” things that can make or break a marriage. Because Logan seems uncomfortable about revealing your engagement, the two of you may have jumped the gun.

DEAR READERS: It is time to continue the tradition of offering the Thanksgiving Prayer that was written by my mother, Pauline Phillips. No Thanksgiving would be complete for me without it:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank thee for health and remember the sick.

We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service,

That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Love, Abby

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. To order "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It,” send a business-size, self-addressed envelope plus check or money order for $6 to Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

Universal Press Syndicate

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