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I didn't marry Mr. Darcy

If you're wishing your husband were more romantic, like the heroes in Jane Austen's novels, it may be time to rethink your ideal. Chances are, your partner's more romantic than you give him credit.
Amy Peterson, FamilyShare Modified: May 13, 2014 at 4:32 pm •  Published: May 19, 2014

3. Compromise is key. A relationship is successful when both partners are willing to compromise. My husband doesn't care for romantic comedies or period dramas, but knows I enjoy them, so occasionally we watch one together. I know it's not natural for him to be outwardly affectionate, so I don't always push him to hold my hand or kiss me in public. I'm willing to watch an action movie or plan dates he enjoys because I want him to feel validated and important. As we compromise and are selfless, romance blossoms.

4. Mr. Darcy didn’t start out romantic. If you recall the novel, Elizabeth Bennet is not at all taken with Mr. Darcy when they first meet. She rejects his first heartfelt proposal and dismisses him handily. Later, as she realizes the way he has helped her family and quietly supported her, the attraction grows.

If your husband doesn’t seem romantic, don’t despair. As he learns what you like, and as your love for him grows, you’ll find him being more romantic. As I take the time to remember the last 16 years, I can recall several times my husband has tried his hand at being romantic, including surprising me with a new wedding band and learning to make my favorite chocolate dessert. He’s even suggested a night out at the ballet.

Regency era manners are a bit outdated, and not many men I know are willing to dress for dinner, but that does not mean they don’t want to be romantic. Relax your ideas of what romance is and acknowledge the ways your spouse shows his love. You may find out you have your very own Mr. Darcy, even if you don’t live at Pemberley.


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