So I won’t be missing the “Sharknado” encoure tonight — at 6 p.m. on Syfy, OKC Cox Channel 49.
Now, how to make this a blog about real estate … hmmm.
Oh, of course: The standard homeowner’s insurance policy covers damage from “falling objects” — and unless sharks are excluded, I’m pretty sure you’re covered, especially if they get sucked up out of the ocean by tornados and get plopped down on top of your house!
(That *is* the gist of “Sharknado.” But it’s the streets of Los Angeles OMG the STREETS OF LOS ANGELES, not your house.)
Can’t. Wait. I even watched “Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (Raymond Burr, 1958)” last night to prepare.
Plus: Streets are infrastructure. That’s real estate. Buildings in Los Angeles? Real estate. Property damage from tornados, or sharks, or sharknados? Real estate, real estate, real estate.
I’d say ”Sharknados” is a movie about real estate!
So it’s Date Night tonight at the Mize house, with She Who is My Patient Wife, who loves some kinds of schlock even more than I do! Hot dogs and popcorn will be served! We’ll pretend it’s a drive-in movie theater! Special-purpose real estate!
This morning, I turned to Facebook for more!
Post: “Richard Mize … is taking suggestions on how to make ‘Sharknado’ a real estate story. Thank you.
Commenter: “Well you know that in Western Kansas 100′s of thousands of fossilized sharks teeth can be found. How did they get there?”
Commenter: “How about: ‘the film sets, studio, locations, and homes where this show was watched are all a horrible waste of real estate.’
Me: “No fun!”
Commenter: “How about a ‘Sharknado Free Zone’?”
Commenter: “Would a regular tornado shelter provide protection against sharks?”
Commenter: “In 2009, lenders swept into overbuilt housing markets in Florida Nevada and Arizona in a sharknado of foreclosures.”
Me: “I’m wondering what kind of effect a Sharknado would have on, say, an office building’s finish, you know? Wind damage *and* teeth marks? And landscaping and outdoor amenities? ‘Oh, that’s Gallairdia. Nice building. Class A until the Sharknado of ’13.’ ”
Commenter: “It’s Oklahoma. Here it would be an alligatorgarnado and would have no effect because us 3 million rednecks would bring out 6 million guns and fill our freezers in the first 7 minutes.”
Commenter: “Prairie dognado!”
Me: “That’s what formed inside the big prairie dog vacuums they tried some years back.”
(I cannot bring myself to give a link, but Google “prairie dog vacuum” if you dare. — rm)
Commenter: “To be a TV screenwriter now it must help to have a serious brain injury.”
And it just went downhill from there:
Me: ” ‘As God is my witness, I thought woodchucks could fly.’ — Les Nessman.”
Commenter: “Frognado. Biblical.”
Commenter: “MOOOOOOOveee! Take cover!”
Me: “Udder chaos!”
Me: “Three hours to ‘Sharknado’ encore! 6 p.m., OKC Cox 49!
Commenter: “Don’t do it.”
Pshaw! I happened upon “Sharktopus” a couple of years ago on a motel TV in Doorant, OK. Good stuff, for the kind of stuff it is!
By the way: “Sharknado 2″? Sequel shmequel. Somebody needs to make “Prairie Dognado”!