International adoptions on increase
Published: November 26, 2000
When Sean and Ann Fox applied to adopt a baby from Catholic Charities last year, they were told to expect a four- to six-year wait.
And at the end of the wait, there was nothing to stop the young birth mother from changing her mind, keeping the baby and sending them back to the pool of hopefuls.
It seemed like a bleak prospect to the Foxes. They were feeling the urgency that often hits childless couples approaching their 40s.
"It just seemed like a lot to us, Ann Fox said.
Maggie Latimer plays with Korean-born son
Brendan, while Pam Kingsley watches India-born daughter Melea
hold her doll in the play area inside Quail Springs Mall. Families with children
adopted
from abroad have formed a strong support community in the Oklahoma City area.
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Staff Photo by Roger Klock
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They found a shorter wait and more assurance that a baby would be there for them at the end their journey.
"The pros for international adoption just far outweighed the pros for domestic adoption, Ann Fox said. "We were secure that once the child was referred, that the mother wasn't going to change her mind.
The Foxes began their foreign adoption last year and received their 7-month-old son, Joey, in March. The family already has begun adopting a second child from South Korea.
The Foxes' road to international adoption is a common one, Cindy Davison, spokeswoman for Dillon International Inc., said.
Many of the families who come to the Tulsa-based international adoption agency have already been through the domestic system.
"Generally, I think families do look at domestic adoption first. It's a natural progression.
Ultimately, families just want a child to love, Davison said. International adoptions are comparable in cost to domestic adoptions, and there are more children available.
The annual number of adoptees entering the United States has jumped from about 7,000 in 1990 to more than 16,000 in 1999. This year's total is expected to reach 17,500.
"It's become increasingly more ordinary, said Susan Cox, spokeswoman for Holt International Children's Services in Eugene, Ore.
China, Russia and some eastern European countries have led the way in opening adoption as a possibility to people who had little hope of adopting before.
Age and marital requirements are no longer roadblocks, Cox said.
Couples in their 40s and 50s are eligible to adopt infants and toddlers, and the door to adoption is open to single women as well as single men, said Cox, whose agency has placed more than 50,000 children since 1956.
The number of international adoptees entering the country has increased by an average of 1,600 a year since 1995.
And officials expect numbers to continue climbing.
Beverlee Einsig, director of educational service for Dillon International, said foreign adoption is increasing in Oklahoma.
Einsig has been organizing adoption workshops for Dillon the past 14 years, and has seen a steady increase in attendance.
A workshop in Tulsa last month drew 21 families and a similar workshop recently in Norman drew 14 families.
About 80 percent of the people who participate in the daylong educational meetings end up adopting from abroad.
It used to be a novelty, but more people are turning away from domestic adoptions because of the lack of infants and concern over birth parents, Einsig said.
But Rebecca Hackworth, Dillon's director of family services, said parents should never ignore their children's past.
"Just because there's no open adoption doesn't mean you're off the hook, Hackworth said.
While some families come to international adoption to avoid the birth parent issue, agencies encourage parents to educate their children.
Even though there may not be any information about a birth parent, parents can still fill in some of the pieces, she said.
Families are returning to visit birth places, and in some cases meet foster parents, orphanage workers and even birth parents. Other families are creating life books packed with adoption documents, photographs and other pieces of the child's history.
Holt International spokeswoman Cox considers cultural education vital.
In 1956, Cox became the 167th child to be adopted from South Korea through the Holt agency. Back then, foreign adoptees learned little about their native cultures.
Her generation is now speaking out about the importance of knowing their origins.
Cox remembers leaving home for college and discovering she'd grown up under a false sense of reality.
Students and teachers identified her as Korean and expected her to know something about the country and culture she came from.
It can be confusing and frightening, Cox said.
Families need to be educated and prepared to face race and heritage and to acknowledge it. They didn't acknowledge it 50 years ago.
Though foreign adoption is becoming more common, there's still resistance.
Dillon International's Hackworth said some people think Oklahoma's foster children should have permanent homes before people adopt from other countries. And there are social workers who frown on interracial adoptions.
That's unfair, said Hackworth, who adopted two daughters from Haiti 16 years ago.
Many parents want infants that are as healthy as possible, not kids with painful family histories and struggles involving drugs or alcohol. And she said parents don't have to match the color of their children's skin to care.
For some families, international adoption is the only alternative, Hackworth said. They're too old to qualify for domestic adoption or have given up on the wait.
She said domestic adoption can be a discriminatory process involving pregnant teen-agers looking for Ken and Barbie look-alikes to raise their children. Some people don't look like Ken and Barbie, she said.
"We have critics, Hackworth admitted.
"And we have people who are answers to our prayers. We love to get our hands on those people.
