Joel: The A-Team, Beer hats and ‘Funky Cold Medina’

By Joel David

Published: January 26, 2006

Joel here again. I'll be informing you of all things entertainment and some things that aren't entertaining, like some of the upcoming DVD releases. If you don't like what you see go ahead and check the rest of the issue. I promise there is something in here for everyone. Yes. Even you.

LET'S DO THIS!

Thursday, Jan. 26, the one and only Tone Loc will be performing at SKKY Bar. I'm not a psychic but I predict that he will perform "Funky Cold Medina and "Wild Thing" at some point in the evening. I don't know what he'll do for the other hour and twenty-two minutes he'll be performing but it will be fun to watch. For more information contact Michelle at 405-272-9222.

Friday, Jan. 27, Gong Crazy Karaoke will be at Citywalk. I may try that because it sounds like it will be much better then the time I tried Stab Crazy Karaoke. That hurt. A lot. Call 405-232-9255 for more information.

Saturday, Jan. 28 is the "Nudes and Foods annual exhibit at 50 Penn Place. I have a feeling that this is nothing like the Burgers and Booties festival my neighbor Antoine has every Fourth of July at his house. For more information call 405-848-5567.

Sunday, Jan. 29, since you should be in church anyway, Christian illusionist Greg Davidson will be performing four shows at Cherokee Hills Baptist Church. It's church, it's magic and it's free. You couldn't beat that if you wanted to. Well, you could, but you probably shouldn't. For more information call 405-721-5338.

Wednesday, Feb. 1 at the Ford Center the OKC Hornets take on Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls. What's that? He retired? I have really gotta pay more attention to sports.

Thursday, Feb. 2, Hats and Headdresses: Adornment of the Head From Around the World will be displayed at the Sam Noble Oklahoma Natural History Museum. I have gotten to preview the collection and noticeably absent is the hat that holds two beers you usually see at sporting events. Lucky for me, I was already wearing mine. I asked if they wanted to use it in their display and they politely declined. For more information call 405-325-4712. Friday, Feb. 3, Carpenter Square Theater presents "The Drawer Boy at Stage Center. I have seen this play and was pleasantly surprised to find out it wasn't a play about the world's worst super hero sidekick. For more information call 405 232-6500.

Saturday, Feb. 4, John Zink's Race Car Collection will be on display at the Oklahoma History Center. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure his collection is much better than my own. All I have is a 93 Accord and about a hundred Matchbox cars from when I was a kid. No one wants to see that. Don't think I haven't tried showing them off either. I got laughed at. And that was just my family. For more information call 405-522-5241.

MUSIC

Every Tuesday, as many of you may or may not know, is new music day. That's the day all of your favorite artists release their newest offering to you, the fan. I'm here to help guide you through the virtual jungle that is "new release Tuesday.

JAN. 31 NEW RELEASES

L-Word's "Season 3 soundtrack will be available. This is a surprise because I had no idea that the show had been on that long.

"Monster Ballads: Platinum Edition comes out on the same day. This is the perfect album to complement your collection of Larry, The Cable Guy t-shirts and NASCAR decals.

Barry Manilow releases a collection of himself singing the greatest hit songs of the 50s. This album is perfect for your grandparents or anyone who doesn't like music that much.

JOEL'S PICK

Paul Oakenfold and Norman Cook release the "Ultimate DJ Sample Box Set. I can say that this will be the best collection of electronic music you'll buy this year. I can say that because I'm sometimes wrong and not afraid to admit it. I am pretty confident about this one though.

FEB. 7 NEW RELEASES

Ron White's "You Can't Fix Stupid album will be released. Apparently you can't fix it, but you can get it to fork over 15 bucks to listen to it.

The Chuck Norris Experiment releases its self-titled album on Feb. 7th. I have no idea what type of music this is, but I will approach it the same way I approach everything else in my life. If it involves Chuck Norris in any way, shape or form, it has to be good.

Also being released today is "A Lincoln Portrait: The Music of Abraham Lincoln. This is a collection of music that the late president enjoyed. Turns out Lincoln was a huge REO Speedwagon fan. Who knew?

JOEL'S PICK

Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the film "Curious George comes out on this day. Now, I don't normally endorse monkey-related soundtracks, but I do love Jack Johnson, who, to date, has not made a bad album. I would highly recommend this album, whether you are into curious monkeys or not.

MOVIES

Sometimes the best thing to do is go to the movies. Especially when being chased. Don't ask. It is good to have an idea whether or not the money you're going to spend is worth it. Hopefully my "reviews will help you out when it comes to making that all-important movie choice.

FRIDAY, JAN. 27

"Nanny Mcfee opens and stars Emma Thompson as a spell-casting nanny who attempts to make seven unruly British children behave. Think of it as an updated version of "Mary Poppins, only with less Dick Van Dyke and not good.

"Annapolis also opens starring James Franco. It's the gripping tale of a young man's quest to complete the toughest training the Navy has to offer. Think of it as an updated version of "Mary Poppins only with more cursing and no Dick Van Dyke.

FRIDAY, FEB. 3

"When A Stranger Calls opens, starring no one you've ever heard of. This is a remake of a horror movie from the 1970s starring more people you've never heard of. Still wanna go and see it? OK, but it's your eight bucks. I warned you.

DVD

Sometimes you can't leave the house to do something fun. Sometimes you're stuck at home. Maybe you're sick or that ankle bracelet only lets you get a few yards outside your front door before the cops show up. Well, lucky for you there are some new DVDs headed your way. Here are some of them.

JAN. 31

The first season of the "Gastineau Girls comes out today. Finally that show no one watches can now be bought by all the people who don't watch it.

Hulk Hogan's best work, "Suburban Commando and "Mr. Nanny comes out in a two-disc package. Now, if only "Thunder in Paradise would come out on DVD, my Hulk Hogan collection would be complete.

The Cameron Diaz "hit "In Her Shoes is released today. This movie had the same director as "8 Mile and "Wonder Boys. I guess we all mistakes.

JOEL'S PICK

The "A-Team season three comes out today. There are few things on this earth better than this show. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but the A-Team is close to the top of the list. Also close to the top of that list is "Knight Rider. Season three of that comes out today as well. It's time to go donate plasma again so I can add to my already pathetic DVD collection.

FEB. 7

"Bambi II comes out today. I have seen a preview copy of this and I don't want to ruin this for anyone, but the plot involves Bambi's mom coming back and with the help of her son Bambi, and an animated Samuel L. Jackson, they go on a violent, revenge fueled, rampage against hunters. It's violent and cute at the same time. Like my ex-girlfriend.

"Doom starring the Rock comes out today. Now fans of the mind-numbing, time-consuming, video game can go ahead and waste another hour and half of their lives.

"NASCAR Year in Review 2005 comes out. Let me save you 15 bucks and just go ahead and tell you, it's cars driving in a circle for two hours. That's it. You're welcome.

JOEL'S PICK

"Charles in Charge the first season is released today. There are few things better than seeing Scott Baio try to continue his career post Chachi. Just a good rule of thumb, if Willie Aames is involved at all, bail. Does anyone else remember "Zapped! ? I didn't think so.

Hopefully I have presented more than enough activities for you. If I failed to list something just go ahead and peruse the rest of the issue for the most comprehensive events calendar in the metro. I'll see you next issue right here on page three when I will have a few Valentine's tips for that special person in your life. Whether it be a spouse or significant other or that person you're stalking, keep an eye out for the next issue for Joel's Valentine's tips. There will be something for everyone!