And I knew — I just knew — that my weight would be up.
I followed the directions on the screen through squinted eyes. When prompted, I stepped up on the balance board. I pushed buttons on the Wii remote.
Then my weight popped up: 289 pounds.
My head was sufficiently achy to prevent my brain from functioning properly. My first thought was, "Oh great. I’ve gained seven pounds.”
Gradually, the monkeys in my skull worked out the math. I hadn’t gained seven. I’d lost three pounds. I’m down 18 pounds overall.
I’d love to say that it was a transformative moment, that the realization caused some immediate shift in the balance of my world and my head stopped hurting ... but that’s not what happened. Instead, I shuffled into the bedroom and told my wife I’d weighed in.
"So,” she said. "What’s the verdict?”
I held up three fingers. "I’m down three pounds.”
She seemed surprised. So was I. There were plenty of dark clouds over Oklahoma this week. I guess I found a silver lining.