Like many of us, Kevin Durant watched Game 5 of the dramatic Heat-Pacers series on Thursday night.
And during a lull in the first half, he decided to shoot out a Twitter invitation to his legion of followers, telling them to send any questions his way:
As you’d expect, plenty of people jumped at the opportunity, firing a wide variety of inquiries through the Twittersphere.
Durant was understandably selective, answering some of the more bland questions, but providing a couple of brief highlights. He gave his thoughts on Indiana star Paul George’s game, his reluctance to chase after the 2013 scoring title and even chatted it up with Clippers guard Jamal Crawford (@JCrossover, as seen below).
But the real (unintentional) comedy from this brief Internet activity came behind the scenes, deep within the depths of Twitter, where strange, strange people populate the keyboards.
Durant answered seven questions. But he was asked thousands of them throughout the course of Thursday night.
Many were reasonable (wondering his thoughts on the game and the Thunder’s season) or even interesting (one guy wanted him to compile an ideal starting five, himself included, from all the players in NBA history).
But oh so many of them were of the ‘you can’t make this stuff up’ variety. Some are awkward. Some are funny. All are entertaining. Here’s a compilation with some commentary:
-This guy’s obviously trying to capitalize on Durant’s recent charity efforts. But only $30? If you’re going to aim, aim big.
-Maybe he’d name it Hank the Tank.
-I think this guy has been playing a bit too much NBA 2K. Might want to research the term ‘salary cap’.
-A question we’ve all pondered at one point or another.
-Somebody should open the Church of KD in downtown OKC. It’d probably have a pretty strong following.
-Another great one from our friend Hank. And for the record, I’d take Joe Finfrock in an upset. Bruising defender with an underrated post game.
-Might be time to reevaluate some things when you’re asking strangers, via Twitter, to be your best friend.
-Same question, different wording: “How much would you like to be fined tonight, Kevin?”
-You know, that Perkins for Pau trade actually does sound like a pretty good idea. Maybe they can ship Daniel Orton to Memphis for Zach Randolph and Tony Allen, too. Somebody alert Sam Presti.
-The “Can I get a ‘fallow’ back?” ranked a close second behind “Yo, I’m your biggest fan, can I get a retweet?” for most asked question of the night. Both were in the hundreds.
-Bro, do you even lift?
-Tough to turn those last two offers down
-How long will this KFC joke last?
-If there’s a percent less than zero, that’s the odds of KD giving out LeBron’s cell phone to a random teenager with a Twitter handle of @iBostonCeltics.
-I’m not sure which of these last two competitions I’d rather see more. Actually, it’s definitely the Birdman-Hansbrough thumb wrestling match. Cue that up on PPV.
-My personal favorite question of the night. And it was a two-parter!!! He should have just combined it to: “What does Pau smell like after he eats shellfish?”
-This guy is clearly paying plenty of attention to the playoffs
-I mean, even Kazaam made money.
-Seems like a fitting one to end this post on.
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