'Myrt' would make a mighty fine house flipper

By Richard Mize

Published: June 7, 2008

Friend of mine here in Oklahoma City said his wife was getting groceries out of the car at their home and a woman — complete stranger — walked up and said she liked their house and wondered if it was for sale.

Well, no. But ...

It's a 1,000-square-foot house built in 1952. Two bedrooms. One bath. They've got three kids and a dog. It's a little cramped.

They paid about $70,000 for it in 2002 and the county has valued it now at about $110,000.

The woman checked out the house, and they're all talking.

Now, I reminded my friend of what happened to Deputy Barney Fife when he fell into an unexpected deal.

That sweet little old lady (the future "Grandma Walton”) who tried to sell him a car for his life savings turned out to be a car thief — name of Myrt. It was a big lemon. It had sawdust in the transmission and made for the weirdest scene involving a steering wheel ever in "Andy Griffith” or about any other show.

Of course, my friend is not nearly as gullible as Deputy Barney Fife. But swindlers try to swindle when times are good, bad and fair-to-middlin' — which is about the shape of housing now in Oklahoma City.

Is there a home sale slowdown in the Oklahoma City area?

Yes, some, but the market is alive and well, all in all.

Is there a slowdown in home building?

Little bit, but contrary to Oklahomans' experience, all booms do not end in busts, it turns out. Who knew?

Home values falling here?

Yes, a wee, wee bit month to month earlier this year, less than a percentage point, judging from average sale prices, and it's downright shocking to anyone used to regular increases.

But it's no big deal compared to what's going on in much of the rest of the country. And, in any case, prices were still up year over year on a quarterly basis, according to the latest available numbers.

If you're looking for a housing crisis, look somewhere else. Move along, please, there's nothing to see here.

Is hard bargaining the same as making a "lowball” offer nowadays?

"Lowball” always has had a negative connotation to me. It's deliberately making an offer that's an insult. It's a risky approach unless you know a seller is in a bind.

I'd be offended if someone made me a lowball offer, and I'd be ashamed to let my mama or preacher know if I made one.

Ellen James Martin, in her "Smart Moves” housing column, gives tips on how to succeed with a lowball offer — just as pretty as you please, as if there's nothing shameful about it.

No pretense, even, that there's anything "low” about lowball offers.

She quoted a real estate agent who advised a would-be lowball buyer to "attach a brief handwritten note to introduce yourself to the sellers and tell them why you like their house.”

The agent said, "It's an art form to convince the owners you're not just a ‘grab and run' opportunist ...”

Not unless you ARE a grab-and-run opportunist.

Is that the way things are now? Lowball offers are nothing new. It's the shamelessness of it that galls. Or am I, at 44, an ethical dinosaur?

Every homeowner could use a dose of homeowner education — and some could do with some life skills.

Energy columnist Ken Sheinkopf writes of visiting some friends whose bathroom sink water was so hot Sheinkopf thought he'd scalded his hands.

He wrote: "I asked them why they kept their water heater temperature so hot, and they replied that they had never adjusted it, and just figured that they had very hot water where they lived.”

Maybe ol' Myrt should stop by their house and make a lowball offer. They might bite.

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