Negativity makes Oklahoman writer's successes difficult to celebrate

Ken's weight is changing, but his mind isn't keeping up. It may be time for him to quit calling himself "fat."
By Ken Raymond Published: August 22, 2010
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My wife eyed me critically Friday morning and said, "You look skinny."

Objectively, I know that I do not, by any stretch of the imagination, look skinny. I'm still bulbous and gourdlike. If I were a woman, folks would probably think I'm about seven months pregnant ... and in dire need of electrolysis and a wig.

My wife didn't mean it in an objective sense, of course. She meant it subjectively. I'm 32 pounds lighter than I was on April 1. She'd noticed the difference.

Knowing that didn't change how I reacted to her comment. I said something like, "No, I don't." I may have ended it with: "I'm fat."

I say things like that every time someone compliments me on my progress. It has nothing to do with modesty; it's about how I see myself.

Last week, I sat down for an interview with Republican gubernatorial candidate Mary Fallin. She praised my efforts as Ken 2.0. I said, "I still have a long way to go."

"You're doing great," she said.

"I hope I can keep it up," I replied.

A day or two later, I ran into one of the newspaper executives in the break room. "How much have you lost so far?" she asked. When I told her I'd lost 32 pounds, she said something positive that ended with an exclamation point and added, "You should be proud."

I said I'm not losing weight quickly enough.

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Staff Writer Ken Raymond began a yearlong weight loss and fitness journey on April 1. Here are his stats:

Age: 41

Height: About 6 feet 1 inch

Beginning weight: 307 pounds

Current weight: 275 pounds

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