Oklahoma City family's struggle put strain on U.S. sailors

BRYAN DEAN Comments 1
Published: June 18, 2009

Rear Adm. Doug McClain said he used to like it when his wife lied to him.

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McClain, an Oklahoma City native, spoke Wednesday to a group of U.S. Navy sailors and their families in Oklahoma City about the struggles Navy families face, and how they can work to overcome those problems.

McClain, a 30-year naval veteran, said his wife learned what not to tell him about when he was at sea — a broken down car, house repairs and other problems that could add stress to an already stressful job.

"The greatest spouses — they lie,” McClain said.

While e-mail has given sailors and their families the chance to communicate instantly even while at sea, that communication brings with it the troubles of home that many soldiers used to leave behind when they boarded a ship.

When McClain began his career in the Navy, sailors at sea had to wait 17 to 19 days between letters from home.

"The wives used to number the letters,” McClain said. "Sometimes you’d get No. 3 before you got No. 2, and it wouldn’t make sense. That’s just the way you lived.”

McClain is visiting his hometown as part of Navy Week, which ends Saturday. He grew up an Air Force kid and attended Putnam City High School, he said. McClain had an appointment to the Air Force Academy lined up, but he couldn’t attend because of a knee injury he suffered in high school.

His dad suggested the Navy, where McClain could fulfill his dream to fly military jets. He joined the Naval ROTC while attending the University of Colorado and stayed with it when he transferred to the University of Oklahoma to finish his degree in business administration.

After college he went to flight school, earned his wings and logged more than 6,500 hours in carrier jet aircraft, including the A-6 Intruder and F/A-18 Hornet and Super Hornet. He now serves as director of global operations for U.S. Strategic Command.

Families need support

McClain said Navy sailors and Marines have a built-in advantage over their peers in the Army and Air Force when it comes to dealing with wartime deployments.

Most members of other branches get in a peacetime routine of going home to their families after a day’s work.

"If you come into the Navy not expecting to be at sea, you are in the wrong job,” McClain said. "... the fiber of who we are is to deploy. But the families didn’t necessarily sign up for that.”

McClain said Navy families have to rely on each other and the support structures at their home ports to deal with stints at sea that can last up to a year.

Technology has helped alleviate the feelings that come with long-term separation, but it also creates challenges, McClain said.

"You used to have to change your mentality where you are gone and you know you can’t do anything about the problems at home,” he said. "I think it’s good for the families to have that communication, but it’s frustrating in a lot of ways because the service member is not there.”