Oklahoma parents help parents with teens’ addiction

Pat and Vickie Nichols started Parents Helping Parents in 2003 to support parents who have recently learned they have a child who is abusing alcohol or drugs. Pat Nichols said the volunteers who man the nonprofit organization are educated on abuse and have experience dealing with their own childrens’ addiction.

Q: When and why did you and your wife, Vickie, become co-founders of Parents Helping Parents?

A: When my son first started getting involved, he began drinking and then it progressed to marijuana. This was when he was 16, and he went to Edmond Memorial High School. It would take me several years before I actually understood, seeing all the changes going on with him and not being able to figure it out. We even took him to a psychologist; did everything I knew to do. Everyone I came into contact with never mentioned alcohol or other drugs. I knew nothing about addiction or if it was a disease.

That’s the reason I started (Parents Helping Parents). I didn’t feel like parents were getting the information they needed at the earliest opportune time.

Q: What have you found to be the biggest misconception about addiction?

A: The biggest misconception is most people do not understand or believe that it is a disease. ... There is even confusion on this point within the profession of counseling. ... New technology clearly indicates it is a brain disease; the brain is actually changed and altered.

Q: What are signs of addiction that parents should look for?

A: I think the two primary ones would be if the child no longer is interested in maintaining the respect from the parents, and he doesn’t care if his car privileges are taken away. By then you’ll see that there will be a drop in grades, his friends have changed, he’s no longer interested in social activities he once was very passionate about, like maybe it’s golf or wrestling or football or it could be church.

You see a behavior change in the way they dress, their attitude, continuing to break the family boundaries and they aren’t concerned about the consequences. And even if they pay the consequences, they’ll do it again. ... Many parents also think they can smell the alcohol on them or they can tell if they’re using but that’s not necessarily true.

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