5 reasons Kim Deal quit The Pixies
5. Man is five. The devil is six. God is seven. The Breeders are eight.
4. Mark Ibold won’t quit Pavement.
3. Callouses on her fretting fingers starting to resemble the visage of Frank Black
2. Tired of playing what are essentially souped-up Aldo Nova covers
1. She’s joining The Mars Volta
5 universal fixes for anything
5. Name it after President Ronald Wilson Reagan
4. 24-hour waiting period
3. Arm! Invade! Destroy! Rinse! Repeat!
2. Have Sir Paul McCartney write a song about it
1. Tour with The Breeders
5 things Sir Paul McCartney didn’t receive for his birthday Tuesday
5. A Pixies CD
4. A Pavement CD
3. An Aldo Nova CD
2. A steakhouse gift certificate
1. An invitation to join The Mars Volta
5 declarative sentences
5. “Aside from the horribly left-wing subtext, the slams against theocrats, the elevation of impotent rage, the celebration of apathy and the abundance of non sequiturs, it’s pretty much a butter pat’s worth of viscous excrement,” said no one about anything, ever.
4. “There are cobwebs on my shoulders,” said Kim Deal of her decision to quit The Pixies.
3. “There are camels on my cobwebs,” said Mark Ibold of his decision not to quit Pavement.
2. “Life is just a fantasy,” said Aldo Nova of nothing in particular.
1. “They’re actually pretty cool,” said this guy I know about The Mars Volta.