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Plane speaking: Teach children intentionally

Columnist Walker Moore discusses the perils of taking a cheap flight and taking the “cheap” route to good parenting.
BY WALKER MOORE Published: May 12, 2012

As a frequent flier, I always look for the cheapest way to get from Point A to Point B.

You can tell you're using a cheap airline when:

• Before the flight, the passengers get together to elect a pilot.

• You can't board the plane unless you have exact change.

• The captain asks all the passengers to chip in to help pay for gas.

A few years ago, I was boarding a plane to Dothan, Ala., when the flight attendants announced it was experiencing mechanical difficulties.

Out came a tiny prop plane to replace the brand-new jet we had just boarded.

With the airplane loaded and the doors closed, the flight attendant began to go through the safety procedures — until the pilot paged her. This tiny plane was overloaded, so someone would have to switch flights. Who would volunteer?

A long period of silence usually follows this type of question. But this time, the flight attendant had hardly finished her sentence when a man volunteered. Our one lucky volunteer left.

Again, the door closed, and the flight attendant began her spiel when we heard “Urrrrrrh, urrrrh, urrrh, urh.” This time, the engine wouldn't start.

The door opened once more to allow a mechanic to board. At one point, the mechanic yelled, “I think I got the backup batteries working.” Now, the last thing I want to hear from an airplane mechanic is the phrase, “I think.” Finally, the plane took off, and I spent the entire flight in prayer. Sometimes a bargain ticket comes at a high price.

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