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Reignite passion to break out of 'sophomore' slump

John Gray offers readers advice on their relationships.
By John Gray Published: January 24, 2013

Recently, we went skiing, and he insisted that we take my car. I offered to buy gas, thinking that he would say “No way,” but he kept his mouth shut instead. I know how guys must feel about picking up the tab, so I've contributed. I've bought him nice gifts and an occasional dinner, and I always give him thank-you gifts.

— Tight Times, in East Orange, N.J.

DEAR TIGHT TIMES: In truth, Jack is not thrifty; he's cheap. If you want to give him the message that you expect better, do it now, because you won't get if you don't ask. For example, if he asks to use your car, say, “I'd prefer if you drove.” If he does not offer to pay for gas, ask for a donation. Only you can set the criteria by which you choose to be a part of this relationship. If you don't like having to regularly do that, and I don't know why you would, move on.

John Gray is the author of “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.” If you have a question, email him at All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased.