Some folks found out the hard way, during the Late Housing Crash Unpleasantness, that home ownership wasn’t for them.
So it was back to sneaking peeks of “House Beautiful” or “Better Homes” or “Veranda” or some other shelter mag with a flashlight, under the covers, in an apartment or rent house.
It really is like dating and finding a mate, you know, this home ownership thing – unless it’s just a fling.
See, my house gets on my nerves the way a girlfriend or wife can – or the way a boyfriend or husband can.
Those little quirks that seem “cute” at first can become grating day after day after day, after month after month after month, after year after year after year after OMG WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP!?
Day-month-year One: Oh! What a cute little chuckle! She sounds like a little squirrel! What a cute little squirrel!
Year 17: I hate squirrels. All furred mammals, in fact. Leave me alone.
Day-month-year One: Oh! How interesting! There is a slight whistle — so very slight — in the attic ducts when the heat or air comes on. You can hear it at night. “White noise.” How comforting! This is our home.
Year 17: It’s 3 o’clock in the morning. Again. A real dark night of the soul. Our house is mocking us. We are going insane.
Day-month-year One: Aww, another sweatshirt with a pithy saying! He’s so cute! And clever, too!.