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Silent retreats: Tradition finds 21st century fans

Published on NewsOK Modified: July 28, 2014 at 8:49 am •  Published: July 28, 2014
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A very pregnant Juliana Berger took a five-day trip with her husband and didn't speak to him once.

They weren't fighting. They were attending a silent retreat.

Berger, 33, a web developer, had attended a number of silent retreats over the past decade. Her husband, Jonathan Mann, a 32-year-old songwriter, had never been.

Like so many people these days, the New York-based couple wanted a break from the stress of daily life.

"I thought the stillness would help me connect with my baby," said Berger, who was nearly eight months pregnant at the time.

Silent meditation transcends most religious traditions, and can be traced back thousands of years.

Today's retreats last from a day to several weeks and take place at monasteries, colleges, spas, hotels, and even hospitals.

"It's not really a vacation," cautioned Robert Epstein, senior research psychologist at the American Institute for Behavioral Research and Technology and professor of psychology at the University of the South Pacific in Fiji. "It's a very unusual experience, which can certainly be beneficial, but it's difficult in some respects, because it's a time when you are alone with your thoughts. And you can hear your thoughts very clearly."

For some people, hearing those thoughts can be difficult, though by having time and space to think them through, some people are able to "exhaust the most disturbing ones and throw them away," he said.

Berger and Mann both experienced what they described as a transformation during their stay earlier this year at the Buddhist-influenced Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts.

The retreat wasn't completely silent. There were teachers, lectures, small group sessions and some necessary words exchanged while cooking the vegetarian meals - but none to each other. Each of the 90 participants had their own modest single room.

The retreat had activities scheduled from 5:30 a.m. until 9:30 p.m. There were about eight daily periods for sitting, along with set times for walking, yoga, group interviews, working, eating, chanting, meditation instruction and lectures on Buddhist philosophy.

Mann said he's never been good at being still and found a 45-minute meditation on the second day physically painful and emotionally frustrating. Afterward, he went to his room and wept in what he described as, "the most violent emotional reaction" he's ever had.

"The meltdown helped a lot," he said, explaining he decided to stop trying so hard. He started moving about during the meditation periods and allowed his mind to wander.

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