Mr. Monday couldn’t help but let out a little yelp of honest-to-goodness surprise when the Heisman Trophy winner was announced Saturday night. These days, few awards in sports ever have any suspense. Sportsman of the Year is usually a slam dunk. Major League Baseball MVP is usually some guy you’ve never heard of and, quite shockingly, the person on the cover of the SI Swimsuit issue is a stunningly beautiful woman. Just once, Mr. Monday would love to see a unibrow on Sports Illustrated, just to shake things up.
But back to the Heisman. Three cheers for Sam for winning a tight vote that ESPN talking heads are still grumbling about and that Al Franken is protesting in court. It’s a little loopy, considering just a few years ago, Bradford was a reading tutor at Mr. Monday’s kids’ school and posing for one of the most absurd photos in Oklahoman history. That’s right, Sam in his basketball uniform, hitting a football with a golf club. Let’s, though, talk about what was not surprising on Saturday night. Billy Sims acting crazy. If the Heisman gets you in the mood for the holidays, then Sims’ behavior is like that uncle who is a little too into his fantasy football team and keeps screaming at the Lions. Or, she’s your cousin who just barely missed the cheerleading squad at Southwestern and wants to show you the routine she just created for Britney Spears’ "Womanizer.