Son abuses generous mom's credit, trust

DEAR BRUCE: My 35-year-old son has fallen on hard times. To help him out, I let him use my credit card and put his name on the account. But now I find things on recent statements for dinners out and so on -- things not necessary for him to survive everyday life. Every month I pay my credit card off, and now it's becoming increasingly difficult, as I feel he has abused it. Unfortunately, he has run the card up considerably, and I don't want to be associated with it anymore. Is there any way I can have my name removed from this card and have it in his name alone? I have always maintained perfect credit, and I don't want it ruined now. I was trying to help my son out, but he has abused it, and I want to be done with it. Can you please advise me on how to handle this? I don't make a habit of this. Please help me. -- Frustrated Mom, via e-mail

DEAR MOM: What you did for your son was out of love. All parents want to try and help their kids. Unfortunately, you are stuck with this. You see, the money was loaned (that's what a credit card balance is) on the strength of your good credit. If he is having financial problems, there is no way that the credit card issuer is going to suddenly take you off the hook because you did something to help your child out and he abused it. What you can do is close the account and explain to the credit card company that you're closing it so that no more charges can be made, and hopefully your son will continue to make the payments, reducing the outstanding balances. Understand that until such time as those balances are satisfied, it will be your legal responsibility, no one else's.

DEAR BRUCE: My girlfriend and I have been living together for 15 years and do not want to get married. I have a simple question regarding this and wills. We have a cohabitation contract. Does this contract outweigh a will when it comes to a long-term unmarried relationship, or should one have both? -- J.

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