Somewhere between the guy in diapers, the naked lady on a golf course and the Big XII drama, 2011 got weird. I think it's best that this year is wrapping up.
In sports, the Big XII had more drama than a fifth-grader's slumber party. Everyone blamed Texas. (She's such a diva.) Mizzou called her mom to pick her up early. Suddenly everybody wished they'd accepted an invitation to the PAC-10's sleepover. Her parents had a pool.
Oklahoma State unveiled new uniforms and a new hope of playing for the national championship. At least they have cool uniforms. Oklahoma lost to Texas Tech. I'm not sure what happened after that.
The Oklahoma City Thunder made us believe as they took us to the conference finals.
The Thunder said hello to Kendrick Perkins, who apparently says hello by making the world's meanest sneer. Perkins loves pummeling Pau Gasol, getting technical fouls and long walks on the beach. I'm so glad he's here, but he doesn't replace my favorite player, James Harden, who still hasn't called me to hang out.
This year had its share of heartache.
The University of Oklahoma family lost Austin Box to a drug overdose. Carina Saunders was identified as the woman found in a duffel bag in Bethany. Investigators are chipping away at the case. My husband and I lost one of our friends, Sarah Soles, an attorney from Norman.
Tornadoes killed several Oklahomans, and our hearts broke when Ryan Hamil, 3, was found two days after the Piedmont storm. I hugged my own baby tighter and prayed for the Hamils.
But this also was a year of survival.
Oklahoma City officer Chad Peery was paralyzed after he was beaten within an inch of his life while off duty. Maj. John Waldenville of the Oklahoma County sheriff's office survived being shot in the head during a failed robbery. Both officers are recovering.
The pharmacy shooting saga came to a close. Pharmacist Jerome Ersland was convicted of murder for shooting would-be robber Antwun Parker, 16, in 2009.
Parker's accomplices — Emanuel Mitchell and Anthony Morrison — also were convicted of murder. Mitchell retaliated in the courtroom by punching Oklahoma County District Attorney David Prater in the face.
After the scuffle, Prater left the courthouse, and Mitchell still had to go to prison. I'll take a punch in the face over prison any day. (I'm not offering to let you punch me in the face, so cool it.)
Weirdness all around
Criminals were really weird this year.
There was the guy who was sent to prison for three years for conning a couple of women into caring for him as if he were a baby wearing diapers. Police arrested a couple of Taco Bell employees who were accused of being drunk at work.
This year was a tough one for cleanliness. An Oklahoma City man was arrested for mowing his lawn. An Oklahoma City woman was cited for excessive noise after neighbors complained she was vacuuming too late at night. I'm going to cite these cases whenever I don't feel like tidying up. “Better not clean. Don't want to go to jail.”
Criminals aside, regular people were kind of weird, too. A woman spent most of one of her Saturday afternoons naked as she volunteered at a charity golf tournament. What better way to serve the community than to go nude?
I don't want to tell other people how to live their lives, but I did plenty of volunteering this year. All of it involved me wearing clothing.
I expect my volunteer gigs in 2012 will also involve clothing. Fingers crossed. Nothing could be weirder than 2011.