NEW YORK (AP) — Having recently purchased the "Star Wars" franchise from Lucasfilm for $4 billion, the Walt Disney Co. is shifting the films into hyperdrive.
Not only has Disney already begun working on a new trilogy, to start with J.J. Abrams directing episode seven, but studio chief Bob Iger said this week have said possible spinoffs are being developed for young Han Solo, the bounty hunter Boba Fett and Yoda.
Obviously, the tauntaun is totally out of the bag. The "Star Wars" universe is set to rapidly expand, with every penny drained out of George Lucas' franchise.
But why stop with a few predictable choices when there are others deserving of a close-up? Here are a few lighthearted suggestions for further "Star Wars" spinoffs.
ADMIRAL ACKBAR: Sure, the leader of the Rebel Alliance's Endor assault doesn't exactly have the matinee looks you'd normally want in a star. Truth be told, he looks like a fish. But he's a master tactician and no one is better at taking evasive action. An Ackbar film could revolve around his deep-seated paranoia of constantly being ambushed. Ackbar drives into a parking garage: "It's a trap!" Ackbar drops off his dry cleaning: "It's a trap!"
THE CANTINA BAND: An obvious one, perhaps, but who doesn't want to know more about the Mos Eisley Cantina Band? Technically known as Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes, one can't help but wonder about the band dynamics. Is Figrin D'an like the Sammy Hager of the outfit and Doikk Na'ts the Eddie Van Halen? Do they tour? And what about Max Rebo, the blue elephant-looking guy who plays keyboards in Jabba the Hutt's palace. Do they ever jam together??
LIFE ON THE DEATH STAR: It was an entire planet (twice) created by Dark Side, but what's it like to live there? How are property values? The whole thing looks entirely grey. Where are the parks? Where do the Stormtroopers get their helmets? This would have to be directed by the comedian Eddie Izzard, who contemplated the scene of a Death Star cafeteria in a famous stand-up bit. Izzard imagined Darth Vader ordering the penne alla arrabiata and arguing with a caterer over whether he needs a tray.