The Chiefs released their schedule, so DKTM released their results

Published on NewsOK Modified: April 24, 2014 at 12:42 pm •  Published: April 24, 2014
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I mentioned this the other day, but I’m old enough to remember a time when the NFL would not announce when it would announce its schedule, because that would’ve been ridiculous.

I’m also old enough to remember a time when the NFL announcing the schedule it would play after a summer that hasn’t even started yet would not have been the biggest news of the day because major league baseball is actually playing real games that count and also because THE NFL SEASON IS STILL MORE THAN FOUR MONTHS AWAY YOU ANIMALS!!!

One other thing about the schedule: we have no idea what it means, and mean exactly as much as the sum of diddly and squat.

You may be moaning about that run of four of five road games early in the season^, but the Dolphins may stink and the Chargers aren’t world-beaters and that game will come after the Chiefs’ bye. You may think back-to-back home games against the Rams and Jets are a good time for the Chiefs to catch their feet, but really, you have no idea. The Rams may be good this year. The Jets too. Well, at least the Rams.

^ If you think that’s bad, the Chiefs schedule .

Peyton Manning may be hurt by the time the Broncos come to Kansas City for a Sunday night game in late November. The Cardinals may take another jump after 10 wins last year.

The point is, analysis about NFL schedules in April is silly, even by sports standards, so with all that said let’s spend this fine April day analyzing the Chiefs schedule!

Here, then, are the final results of the season, more than eight months before its completed. I’m quite certain we’ll do this again at least two more times because sports!

Week 1 vs. Titans: The Chiefs won at Tennessee last year, and a season opener at Arrowhead is a significant tilt toward the Chiefs no matter the circumstances. On the other hand, I can’t imagine the civic panic if the Chiefs lose this game. Win, 1-0.

Week 2 at Broncos: Let’s just move on. Loss, 1-1.

Week 3 at Dolphins: Miami went 8-8 last year, but may have found something with Ryan Tannehill. You never know how these things will turn out — there was a time that Josh Freeman was the next star — and it’s worth mentioning that Tannehill’s 24-17 TD-Int ratio is less than ideal, but at the moment, those of us who thought he was a bust waiting to happen are still waiting. This is one of those games where if you think the Chiefs will make the playoffs, you better pick them to win this game. Loss, 1-2.

Week 4 vs. Patriots: I probably give the Chiefs more of a chance here than a lot of people, partly because I think the Patriots are less than unbeatable (4-4 on the road last year) and partly because this will be a Monday night at Arrowhead. You know what? What the hell. Win, 2-2.

Week 5 at 49ers: I wonder what we’ll be writing about the week before this game. Loss, 2-3.

Week 6 bye: I’ll be defending my championship in the neighborhood barbecue contest. Win, 2-0.