The Next Level: Watching the Olympics is better than playing game

By Matthew Price

Published: August 22, 2008

Put yourself into the Beijing Olympic Games if you dare with "Beijing 2008,” the official video game of this year's Olympic games.

The game is feature-heavy and looks good — unfortunately, it's perhaps as grueling as training for the actual Olympics.

There are 36 different events to participate in, from gymnastics to swimming to kayaking. So on that front, the developers aren't skimping on depth. And, the graphics are solid, with realistic-looking performers and venues. Now, there are only 32 countries, so there's less representation there than in the actual Beijing. And, if you're looking to recreate Michael Phelps' 8-gold-medal performance, good luck: There are no actual Olympic athletes represented. It gets worse.

The gameplay is simply hand torture. Quick button mashing is the name of the game. Hitting buttons or moving joysticks in rapid succession is needed to compete in virtually every event. It's as if it's 1982, and the developer would receive a quarter every time you failed.

After the tutorials, which don't really explain anything well at all, the selected team is thrown into the Olympic mix. However, the team members are apparently fat, lazy and stupid, as their qualifying statistics are awful. The gamer must meet several challenges each day, with a subpar team, to gain experience points to upgrade the characters to "not completely horrible.”

You'd think, at the Olympics, any nation wouldn't just pick the slowest people who happened to be standing around, but that's the impression you get with "Beijing 2008.” Add to that the carpal tunnel syndrome you'll give yourself by trying to win all 36 events, and, you're better off watching the Olympics on TV instead.

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