Together 48 years, couple fights NC marriage ban

Published on NewsOK Modified: August 14, 2014 at 4:16 am •  Published: August 14, 2014
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HIGH POINT, N.C. (AP) — On the summer night Ellen Gerber and Pearl Berlin committed to spending their lives together, the No. 1 song was "When A Man Loves A Woman."

Lyndon B. Johnson was president. NASA had just landed the first unmanned probe on the moon.

"We're still in love, after 48 years," Gerber, better known as Lennie, said recently. "We still can't begin the day without a good cuddle."

June 2, 1966, is engraved in Roman numerals on the identical gold bands the women exchanged during a religious wedding at their Greensboro synagogue last year on the anniversary of that long-ago night. They followed three months later with a civil ceremony in Maine.

But under North Carolina law, they might as well be strangers.

That's why Gerber and Berlin are the lead plaintiffs in a lawsuit challenging the state's voter-approved constitutional amendment banning legal recognition of same-sex relationships.

"They can see that in us, that being gay or lesbian is just the same as being straight," Gerber said. "You just love somebody of your own sex. Otherwise, there's no difference. ... We want to be recognized for what we are — a married couple."

Last month, the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals — with jurisdiction over five states, including North Carolina — struck down Virginia's same-sex marriage ban. On Wednesday, the appellate panel refused to delay its ruling, possibly clearing the way for gay marriages to begin next week in the Old Dominion.

North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper has said it would be "futile" to continue defending his state's similar law. Republican Gov. Pat McCrory and GOP legislative leaders urged Cooper, a Democrat, to continue the fight, but gave no indication they will defend the ban themselves.

There are real-world worries that come with being gay and growing older. And time is not on the High Point couple's side.

Berlin, 89, fell down some stairs before Christmas, hitting her head, breaking three ribs and enduring her third hospital stay in two years.

Gerber, a 78-year-old retired lawyer, long ago drafted Berlin's health-care power of attorney. But a piece of paper is no guarantee hospital staff would immediately afford her the same spousal rights that would be automatic if she were married to a man.

"It's very scary, that something could happen to Pearl and I could be kept from her," Gerber said. "They might not let me in the emergency room with her. They might not let me help make decisions. ... It would be just horrendous if I wasn't able to be there with her, holding her hand. I would die if I couldn't do that."

Since the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a key section of the federal Defense of Marriage Act last year, same-sex marriage proponents around the country won nearly two dozen legal victories. Such marriages are now allowed in 19 states and the District of Columbia.

Legal experts predict North Carolina's first same-sex marriage licenses could be issued within months, depending on the legal process.

But Gerber and Berlin worry they might not have much time. Their lawyers plan to file a brief asking a federal judge in Greensboro to grant immediate recognition to same-sex marriages.

"Marriage is a statement that you make in front of your family, your friends, your community. It has a meaning that tells the world who you are. It's a very fundamental part of someone's identity," Gerber said.

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