I remember the first time I signed up for Warrior Dash. I was terrified. And to deal with my terror, I wore a bee costume.
My second Warrior Dash, my cousins and I just went with running gear and long sleeves because it was cold.
Fun runs and other alternative running events seem to be growing in popularity. Or maybe I’m just finally paying attention to running events. Regardless, it seems like there is a fun run for just about anybody.
I signed up for the Tough Mudder in Dallas in October, a run that’s marketed as “probably the toughest event on the planet.” It’s 10 to 12 awful miles in the mud, and I haven’t stopped being nervous about it.
But in the midst of my running and training, I’ve thought about fun runs that I wish existed. And if these runs already exist, someone please tell me about them.
1. The Cake Run
This would be as good as the title suggests. You run a 5K while people throw cake at you. Eating it while running is definitely recommended.
2. The Vodka Run
Actually, this would be a terrible idea. Please, no one do this.
3. The Compliments Run
As you run this 5K, hundreds of volunteers shout the nicest compliments. “You have great calves!” or “Your glistening sweat accentuates your rocking smile!”
The compliments wouldn’t have to be true or make any sense — but I guarantee I would run a lot faster if I was being told that I was a golden god (I never said I was a golden god).
4. The “$100 for last place” run
For those of us who know what it feels like to be last, a race that understands the amount of effort it took to get you to the 5K in the first place. I mean, we show up at an ungodly hour to run. We deserve a little recognition from time to time.
This race would give the biggest prize money to the slowest runners. You 6-minute milers are used to winning. It’s our time.
And there’s a tie for fifth place:
5. Running of the Bears
Consider “The Running of the Bears” like America’s “Running of the Bulls.” I mean, how many people do you know who say, “I would only run if I were being chased by a bear”? Well, this would motivate those non-runners.
5. Bouncy Run
Remember those bouncy balls with handles that you played with as a kid? Registration would get you an adult-sized ball. It wouldn’t be a 5K, though. More like a 1/2K. Because that crap was easier when we were kids.
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