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Training brings guarantee

Columnist Walker Moore said some guarantees come with a child and some guarantees come with training a child “in the way he should go.”
BY WALKER MOORE Published: August 11, 2012

My wife and I have had our 6-year-old great-niece staying with us recently. We don't have grandchildren yet, so she comes closest to fulfilling that role in our lives.

Since my sons are grown, I'd forgotten some of the rules — you might call them guarantees — of caring for a younger child. Here's a refresher:

The later you stay up, the earlier the child will awaken the next morning.

For a child to get clean, something else has to get dirty. The demon of dirt requires a sacrifice.

The longer it takes to cook a meal, the less a child will eat. This law has a partner: The more you pay for the meal, the less a child will eat.

If you're in a public place and only one child acts up, you can be sure it will be yours. The larger the crowd, the more likely this scenario is to occur.

If you take a child to pick out something in a store, whether a toy, a pair of shoes or a dress, the child will always choose the most expensive item. But the cheaper the toy, the more a child will play with it.

No matter where you're going, three minutes in the car will cause any child to have to go to the bathroom.

My great-niece has just begun learning to read. As she was going to bed recently, she wanted to read me a bedtime story.

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